2011

What a year 2010 was. The people, events, ups, downs, special times, heartbreaking times. An amazing year. Being the first day of the next year though... ahh the possibilities. I often picture a story I once heard, and, thinking back on it today, wonder what that will mean for the year ahead.

Imagine a beautiful glass container. It can be as big or small as you like. Start off by putting in large-ish beautiful stones (for, they are the most important, and will take up the most space). They need to be chosen carefully though as only so many can fit in.

Following that, are smaller stones, or shells- the little beautiful ones you find on the beach. Next up are the grains of sand, and following that is the liquid that will cover all, be through all, and finish it off. The container that is the year ahead.

Some of it will be planned and intentional whereas others will be a surprise, unexpected and well, come out of the blue.

I am looking forward to being more intentional about a few things, see other things becoming more established and see how the whole year takes shape! I am looking forward to it:)

Motivation

Isn't it funny what we have motivation for! I have been thinking about the things I am interested in, and enjoy doing. But there seems to be a gap between them all.

There's the group of things I just have to do, because they are life, or I have committed to it, like, well, going to work. There are people who are a priority to see. I can always find time to see or talk to these people.

And then there are the things I should do, or would like to do, or even really like to do. And yes, the things I ought to do. I wish I had equal motivation for those things, and even for the interesting uni assignments which I really do know I want to sink my teeth into.... and yet... it would be nice to have a nice energy, and gung ho-ness about those things too!:)

Bloggers graveyard

Over the years since blogging started, I have bookmarked lots of blogs, to follow, keep up with, whether they were written by friends, or were of topics that were interesting to me, or had been recommended to me by friends.

It's always exciting to see some start up, but sad when they drop off again. There are some that I know are paused, and when they auther gets a chance, it will start again, but there are others that have been sitting, waiting for another visit for a year or more, or a big event happened...and that's it. I remember so many of those times, blogs and stories and have loved following friends in this way, but when do you pull the plug and delete the link? I can't bring myself to it, because it feels like deleting a friendship, and that would truly be sad, even if it is just in cyberspace.

Life does go on, and other events happen. I don't mind that the blogs stop, but I do miss them too!

Practical

It never ceased to amaze me that I can get soooo much done at work, and seemingly acheive so much, and then it comes to what I am studying.... and all motivation goes zip! Out the door!


I love what I am studying, and my work, and wonder at their connects, but wow it's hard to apply myself to the theoretical rather than the practical!


It was such a good, and successful work week too. I am so pleased with all that happened, and projects that are coming together. While it can be super hard work and I want to quit, I also really love my job, the opportunities, and the people I get to work with are pretty amazing! And when opportunities for these amazing groups bear fruit, that makes it all the more worthwhile!

As I get to the end of my degree, the question of 'what's next?' gets asked more and more, and while I don't have a clear answer, and feel like life is very bitty, know it's in good hands, and it will all fall in place at just the right time! But in the meantime, the next 6 weeks is going to be rather busy!!!

Open Doors

I have spent the last few days at a trade fair for Christian Booksellers. It has gone so fast, and there are so many people I would have liked to sit down and have long talks to, but it was such an immensly encouraging time though, of talking, sharing stories of what God has done, of seeing miracles, big and small. There are book shops that survive through the wonderful help of volunteers, while others step out and show God's love at Sexpo and the Mind Body Spirit festival, seeing miraculous events, and life changes daily!

Often there would be people who would suddly stop with heads bowed, praying, all encouraging each other and sharing their journeys.

The theme for me though, that kept coming through was, that all we need to do is pray, commit our way to God, and trust him to open the doors. For many of them, they saw it in the practical and the miraculous, the provision of abundance when a vision and dream had been defined, or when they felt like God was telling them to do something crazy rediculous!!

I think of events in my life, things I would like to see happen that I just can't make happen. There have been times when I have tried to open doors, or at least gently leaned on them hopefully. It all comes back to trusting God though, praying, and giving him room to move, something I still struggle with... I am wonderfully encouraged by the amazing men and women who are out there doing just that!!!:)

Dad's

I have been really mindful of quite a few situations over the last couple of weeks, and in a completely different context, VERY aware that father's day is coming up!

In both of these strange meanderings, it has amazed me yet again that I know some incredible fathers out there. They love their families with a fierce protective love, and feel the pain of helplessness when they can't fix the big painful issues that batter and bruise the people they care about most. They take amazing joy in their wives, and have amazing pride in all their children's accomplishments. I am so glad to know them all, and soooo glad to know some incredible honorable, integrity-filled, love filled, passionate, patient, God filled men!

Happy fathers day!:) And if you're not one yet, happy Father's day to be!:)

Meandering paths.

The last few weeks have been quite something really, challenging and enlightening at the same time. There has been some low lows, and a desperate need to hold my tongue and keeeeeep on holding it, as well as some really special highs.

It has amazed me again and again how the same route, even though within different contexts and language will get you to a similar destination! Sometimes its good, and not so good, intentional and unintentional...

Standing back and looking at different situations and events, there are moments when it's hard not to notice the elements that separate and unite. There have been elements of counselling and prayer ministry this week, which have been distinctly similar, and yes, they have been specific styles, they are also very different and one isn't necessarily going to replace the other.

I am so glad to be learning, and in a place to make connections, and yes, even actually have something to offer. there is still so much to learn though!! Meeting someone recently, it struck me hard when they said they were studying for the peice of paper... what a tragic loss, though yes, so understandible in so many situations, and yet, I watched someone go back to study this week and she hadn't been in any formal education since year 10. What excitement and joy she had after over 20 years, to be able to get stuck into something new.

That has been an incredible highlight of the last few weeks, as has seeing answers to prayer. God is good!

Blind spots

As my friends get older, and yes, more grown up, many are going on to have their third, even fourth or fifth children. One good friend has gone on to have seven children- all of whom are gorgeous unique and really special! I am looking forward ot be an aunt for the fourth time soon:)

Alongside that picture of wonderful blessings and bundles of joy, there are those who can't have children, for whatever reason. They haven't been able to, aren't in a position to, or have lost them. Some do go on to having children, but it is an emotional road that is walked.

With so many wonderful friends who are having children, it is such a special time to be around, to watch the joys unfold, and grieve when things don't go as they should. I have an overwhelming desire to punch certain people who judge others in relation to that, and am often shocked by the way the whole topic of children brings out the honest, and not always helpful opinions. So often it's heartbreaking- for people who have been blessed with 'many', or those with none, when they have got it 'wrong' in the minds of the person passing judgement. And no, I am not referring to any one person in particular- more the passing comments, criticisms, and opinions I have heard first, or second hand.

It's easy to develop moral blind spots, and I am sure I have them too, but and feeling rather fragile for those walking these days, and am glad I can be a spare pair of hands occasionally...

They are a miracle, a precious gift, not always easy, but somehow, someway we have been designed and created for relationship, and a big part of that includes children...

Single. White. Female.

I started a writing course last week, and am supposed to be writing for 15 minutes every day. In a journal. This is going to have to do for tonight though. And in general, it's going to have to be wherever I can squeeze the time and space into the day currently. Tonight, I just want to comment.

Single White Female. That's, well, some of the titles once could label me as. I won't go into any others for now, and for the purposes of todays comment, will leave it at that. Mostly, I get on with life, I am who I am within the life I am living, and that's fine. It might not be what I would prefer in some cases, but hey, I am alive, happy, love God best, have awesome friends and family... what more could I want, hey?! Well, it may not be more, but it might just be different.

Last week, within the multiple elements, big and little, totally unrelated, I came to be feeling VERY single, and very much a female!!

What surprised me though was how rarely I notice it being pointed out through other peoples actions, choices and exclusions.

And it's also got me thinking about how we can never know how people feel about different life circumstances, positive or negative, but, usually it's the negative ones that are kept most close to heart... like trying and not being able to have children- which is the case for so very many, but often, so often, our random, flippant, unthought out comments can often be so painful to others- and we often have no idea of the impact and emotion behind it.

It has been a good wake up call that I am grateful for, and am glad I can use where I am for good!:)

Abundance

Tonight was home group, and a time in the week where once again I give thanks for the amazing church I go to!! As the months have gone on this year, I have slowly settled into church, a home group, helping out with more things, finding a place there.

I can't get over how special different aspects of it are, and how the take me by such surprise over and over again, when actually, it should always be like this, right? An overwhelming abundance of grace, genuine care for one another.... I love it!!

Anyway, home group started again this week, and it was so wonderfully refreshing to be there again. One quirky thing I happen to love is the worship. We will occasionally get out dark blue plastic folders, someone will play a guitar, and while I am there, I am also transported back to a place and group of other people who do the same thing, and used to do it in much the same way, often even with similar songs! Brilliant!!

Anyway, I have been thinking through all these things, of abundance, desert, lavishness, dryness, quenching, overwhelming grace and love, because, as I look into next week- the start of a new semester, I don't feel ready. It feels like I have been doing everything from a place of emptiness, taking snatches of breath where I could, rather than drinking deeply of God's goodness and grace.

Tonight I started reading a book about creativity in an effort to find ways to be operating out of a place of abundant love and grace, and home group really helped to kick start that journey. So, no matter what's happening, and how busy it was, is, will be, and dry the environments are that I reside in, I hopefully will find that place of abundance, no matter what my circumstances...!

Servant Leadership

There's different kinds of leadership, the roles, styles, and well, attitudes.


I have been thinking about how different people lead a bit today and how effective it is, and how powerful it is as a way of communicating to others!

At work there's different leaders, and different leadership styles, different attitudes, and different intentions.

I guess, as part of a team who are mostly Christian, and some, not Christian, the way leadership is excercised is an immensly powerful communicator, whether it's of a servant leadership nature, or directed. It seems that the servant leader is the most powerful in communicating God's love and grace, while other modes can tend to be less helpful. It's easy to stand on a pedestal and tell everyone else what to do, or what others have done wrong, but harder too, to get stuck in, and lead through loving first, doing first, and working it out together.

It's something I struggle with, and am humbled by, but it's the servant leaders who are around me that motivate me to keep trying, keep being humble, and keep seeing others for who they really are,and the beauty which is within each.

I miss

I have a friend who I trust, and I have a friend who I don't think trusts me. They are the same person, but the one who doesn't trust took over from the one I trusted, and I miss my friend.

No particular reason for it tonight, but they are my friend and I miss their presence and voice in my life.

Hopefully my friend will turn up again soon:)

The Story of the Bamboo

A great friend would often remind us that 'blessed are the flexible, for they shall not break!"

Madly reading text books for college, I came acros this Chinese folk tale that reminded me of her...

The Story of the Bamboo

During a fierce storm, the bambo bends every which way the wond blows, while the other trees (eg, Oak) stand straight and resist the wind. But after the storm the bamboo tree stands proudly, looking into the heavens and reaching for life, dreams and hopes. The other trees lie on the ground lifeless and without hope because they resisted the wind; they were not flexible and did not move with the wind.

Merge

A couple of weeks ago, we had a guest lecturer at college. She was great, and shared about a bredth of topics in quite a fast span of time. Topics covered included politics, aboriginal affairs, children, travel, poverty, Christianity... the list went on. It was a greatfew hours, and in the end was one of the most challenging lectures I have ever heard!!

In amongst it all, she managed to encompass my past, present and future... of what I thought I was leaving behind, am currently living, and would like to be living. It was only in the days that followed that I came to realise some things I really value- like being able to help people in need, faith and values I have comed to see as special in a whole new light.

I came out of that lecture absolutely wrecked all the way through. Much of that related to being in a very wealthy country, yet wanting to walk that balance of where I have been overseas, wanting to go further afield, and here too, but in the end was the crashing together of areas that I have kept very defined and seperate.

So, in amongst all the other things that goes on, is the slow piecing together of each area of life, and finding a new way to fit all the puzzles together into one, rather than leaving them as 3 distinct puzzles!

Shine on

I am reading a weekly devotion book at the moment, called Simple Compassion, byKeri Wyatt Kent. It's a great book, and I am really appreciating the simplicity, and simutaneous complexity of the topics she covers.


At one stage she quotes Marian Williamson, from her book, Return to Love saying....


"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that mos frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.



It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."



I love that quote, but would love to understand how the whole of it works out in action! We can all shine, and live in confidence of who we have been created to be in Christ, but I don't know how our actions liberate others unless they have first received the awareness and confidence of seeing that they can shine to manifest the glory of God that is within each of us! One day, hopefully I will work it out!

I did buy a card this afternoon for a friend though, saying...


"the world needs your kind of strength, your passion, your humour, your creativity, your heart, your mind, your brilliance. Shine On."


Go Dayspring:)

Tuesdays

Tuesdays is currently my favorite day (weekday) of the week, though they all have good highlights. Tuesday though, there is a wonderful group who meets at work during lunch to do devotions together, and now, on Tuesday nights, I head north, for about an hour or more's drive, find a place to do uni work and eat, then head over to my new bible study!

I have been going to my new church for about 5 months now, and well... with any new thing, really don't like the who new routine, people, structure, getting to know you conversations and the like. But I recently decided that I was just going to go to a home group and be done with it, and it's fabulous! I am loving it, the people, the flow, starting to get to know a small group properly, and it's great! I am starting to get involved in different things that are happening too, and while it feels like it's a super slow process, it's happening. Things and involvement are slowly taking form and shape, and God has been showing me some amazing things for which I am truly grateful!:)

En route

I found out tonight that something I wrote is getting published into a booklet with a number of other Christian women. It is an incredibly humbling thing, because while I don't know everyone who is in it, I know who quite a few of them are, and they are the most amazing women.

I like writing when the urge takes me, and while I have no idea what the book will look like, I know what it is intended use is. I am also amazed that I was asked to contribute, considering that the journey that took me to that point started years ago, and once I had made a decision that, well took over a year in itself, it was nearly thwarted again in a most disasterous way. I am so glad to be where I am at, to have been brought this far, and so very grateful that, while I have no idea what the destination is for much of the current things I am involved in, I know that God does, so in all of it, the crazy essay writing and random work, I am glad to be able to trust him in it all!

Story Water

A story is like water
that you heat for your bath.
It takes messages between the fire
and your skin. It lets them meet,
and it cleans you!
Very few can sit down,
in the middle of the fire itself
like a salamander or Abraham.
We need intermediaries.
A feeling of fullness comes,
but usually it takes some bread
to bring it.
Beauty surrounds us,
but usually we need to be walking
in a garden to know it.
The body itself is a screen
to shield and partially reveal
the light that's blazing
inside your presence.
Water, stories, the body,
all the things we do, are mediums
that hide and show what's hidden.
Study them,
and enjoy this being washed
with a secret we sometimes know,
and then not.

-Coleman Barks (Translator), the Essential Rumi

The foolish and the wise

At church this morning, we were looking at Psalm 1- a wisdom psalm. It sparked a search for a comparison between what a fool is, and who someone who is wise is. I didn't have to go to far- went back through Psalm 1, and was stuck into Jeremiah where I am reading at the moment.

So, here's a list of a foolish person, and a wise person, from God's perspective. It's not complete by any means, but covers quite alot for a few chapters!!

The fool is...
Wicked
Keeps company with sinners and mockers
Is like chaff and will blow away..
Will fall at judgement
Will perish
Doesn't know God
Has no understanding
Is skilled at evil
Doesn't know how to do good
Has no sense
Is foolish
Doesn't know God's ways
Doesn't see, hear or fear God
Is selfish, doesn't care for those in need.


The wise person.....
Is skilled at good
Is righteous and knows God
Has good sense
Deals honestly with others
Seeks truth
Delights in the Law of the Lord
Meditates on it
Is like a tree firmly planted
Stands in the time of judgement
Is among the assembly of the righteous
God watches over them

So, while I am not wise by Sydney (media portrayed) standards, it seems- half the time, well, most of the time...... hopefully I am definately not a fool by God's standards! I am so glad for God's truth, grace and how overwhelmingly and lavishly he loves us!

New Blog

As if we need another new blog, especially now people have moved on to notes in Facebook, and twittering, but I need more room than than, so have begun again..:)

So, introducing Soul Beloved!

Conference last weekend

I had an amazing weekend last weekend. most of it was spent at a conference run by Bill Johnson, from Bethel Church in Redding california. I have heard him speak before- a year ago, and listened to many of his talks over the years.

I so wanted to get as much possible out of last year, but was really glad for the opportunity to return again, where it sunk in so much more! Going with a friend was so special- neither of us would have gone if the other hadn't, and we both saw God moving, and working through us all in so many different ways.

Looking back there was so much I learned, and was reminded of. It was great to go back to some of the really simple lessons, such as the immense importance of knowing who we are in Christ, of seeing how God sees us, knowing that we are his children, and as such are already 'There'. We belong, not because of what we have done, but because we beleive the one who saved us.

It was incredible to see people being healed, of seeing the joy, confidence, wonder and thrill of seeing our heavenly Father loving each of us in amazingly different and unique ways.

Bring it on!:)

Fresh Air

One of the quotes we were given in a lecture last week was the following. It immediately brought my post of emotional residue to mind and made me laugh! What a comparison!!


Where, for me in that case, it was 'just' feeling like I was in the process of losing a friend, it can be anything, and that residue just needs time to air out for a while:) We're not machines and all deal with things differently. Some things just take time!


"Feelings cannot be 'fixed' as if they were a torn patchwork quilt in need of a needle and thread. Like a musty blanket, feelings require sunlight, day after day, until the fresh air has finally cleared the cold dampness away."


Anne Kaiser Stearns

The tension in our hearts...

I was with a new bunch of people last night, some I knew, and others I didn't. Great fun! It's the type of group I have been to hundreds of times, and yet its different, quite different.

The woman leading worship commented on how it feels to 'live' in more than one country, and the tension that creates in one's heart. It is there. It doesn't go away. I have three home countries, and when I moved the the third, remember thinking at the time, this was really silly- especially knowing what it was like to have two countries already. I wasn't wrong, but know I would rather have the tension of three home countries than two, at the same time. Special times!

It got me thinking about tension of the heart in different situations. I don't like tension. I like completeness, resolution, solutions. I would rather sort out things that run away. Unanswered questions, confusion, unsaid apolagies and explanations aren't something I deal well with. I had to laugh though because I realised that I don't like it to the point where I have said to the other person what I have wanted them to say to me, whether it's an apology or whatever.

There aren't always answers, resolutions, healing. Sometimes there's the tension in our hearts. And I will feel that till I go Home to Heaven, and that's ok:)

I have an amazing life, with awesome experiences, and people. That tension is a gift, because it reminds me that I care, and have people around the world worth caring about.

The power of the spoken word

My boss has given a copy of two books to lots of people recently, having read it, and been changed by them. I have yet to read them, but hopefully will get to them soon! One is called Truth and Transformation, by Vishal Mangalwadi, and shares insights on Nations around the world, and their development from a Christian perspective.

A colleague shared something that had really struck her this week, which confirmed something I have been trying to live out. Nice when someone shares something, and it resonates!

Anyway, Mangalwadi comments...

'Postmodernism has lost confidence in words because the West has rejected its logocentric worldview. Yet the fact is that human beings creat culture and history because we speak. Words are creative because they presuppose imagination and freedom. Freedom means that our words can be true or false, liberating or deceiving, constructive or destructive. Our words can capture the invisible laws that regulate the cosmos because behind the cosmos are words- the Creator's words. Words create and transform.

Isn't it amazing that God spoke, and the world was formed, in all it's beauty, and creativity, colour, form, pattern and glory. Our words have power too, to bring life, or death, hope, or despair in how we use them, as we cut each other down, or build each other up.

I guess it's easy to think it's spoken and gone, but not so. What a gift of life we have each been given to pass onto others!!

Gaither Vocal Band I Then Shall Live lyrics

Gaither Vocal Band I Then Shall Live lyrics: "I Then Shall Live by Gaither Vocal Band
I then shall live as one who's been forgiven.
I'll walk with joy to know my debts are paid.
I know my name is clear before my Father;
I am His child and I am not afraid.
So, greatly pardoned, I'll forgive my brother;
The law of love I gladly will obey.

I then shall live as one who's learned compassion.
I've been so loved, that I'll risk loving too.
I know how fear builds walls instead of bridges;
I'll dare to see another's point of view.
And when relationships demand commitment,
Then I'll be there to care and follow through.

Your Kingdom come around and through and in me;
Your power and glory, let them shine through me.
Your Hallowed Name, O may I bear with honor,
And may Your living Kingdom come in me.
The Bread of Life, O may I share with honor,
And may You feed a hungry world through me.

Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen."

Emotional residue

I have been thinking through a few things over the last few days, of various recent events, of things done, not done, or shouldn't have been done.

It's fine and should be fine, but still, there is something, something attached. I was talking to someone recently, and the phrase popped out.. that in all the good, bad, and well, painful, the emotional residue remains. We remember the emotions felt, whether good or bad, painful, angry, joyful, and as we remember events, we remember the associating emotions and feelings.

I am trying to give time, space and distance to something, but the emotional residue remains. I want so much to get rid of it, to move on, and for it to be cut off, because I know what I feel hasn't been intended. It's just what happened.

In so many things, my head moves on, and yet, there is some emotional residue left... it remains stuck like a bad habit. I don't want it, know it doesn't make sense, and yet it lingers... fortunately experience says it passes, or is superseded, and we move on

Swings

I love swings. Especially swings with long, long ropes, so it feels like you are flying as you arc through the air. Better yet, when there is a row of swings, or at least one other, and you're swinging with a friend.

There is that moment though, that incredible moment, when you are swinging at exactly the same speed, velocity, angle, time, keeping perfect pace with each other. Priceless.

What makes it even more precious is that you just have to enjoy it while it lasts, because usually it is just a moment, and then the two swings gradually move out of time again, but that moment of swinging in time is just.... weightless!

Fortunately it doesn't just happen when you're swinging on swings which, is lovely, because there are times when you suddenly realize that you're in that really good place of unity. It may not last forever, or it may change, or you may just be ready to get off the swing, but that moment is precious, and a priceless gift that can't be bought.

An awesome God gift!:)

The Journey

It's funny what happens, looking forward, looking backwards, different perspectives, decisions.

Last year was such a year of learning new things- in so many areas, I was amazed at how much there was to learn, and there was much to learn quickly. Something I have continued to learn in different and new contexts has been to trust God, but particularly to trust God with relationships, in different ways I continue to be amazed and blessed by how gentle God is, in giving guidance, pointers, and general encouragement along the way.

Anyway, this year, a new start, home, adventures. God has new things, and while its all crazy as the changes keep happening, he has the journey sorted. He knows where the twists and turns are, and God, and me, will be able to make it through.

As the ultimate people pleaser, it has always been super hard to put all those voices, presumptions and apparent expectations aside, and follow the voice of the One who counts best, and most. So, herein lies the challenge. To live each day, listening to God first. Obeying God first.

I love this photo- it is one I took a couple of years ago while in Ireland. I love the twists and turns of the road, and of the unknown adventure of the journey ahead. God knows where the road, and that's totally awesome!

That's my Christmas present to Jesus. The road ahead.

Home is.....

This morning I walked into church and something had changed.

I have been listening to the talks online for about 3 years now, and wanted to go there since returning to Sydney 1 1/2years ago. I have often gone to visit but never really felt like I could attend.

This morning, something changed. the talk was on love, family and community- things that are important to me. I felt though that I could go up for prayer, that I could sign up for a welcomers lunch, was happy to catch up with friends, be invited to a bible study and actually feel like it would be great to go!

Smething has change. And while I am back in transit-land again, I am also Home.

Home is where the heart is, home is in God's presence, my heart says here, and so here I am. Home.

There is a bit of a flip side though. There are other places that should be home, but aren't really, but I desperately want them to be. So therein lies the challenge- to bring the concept of Home from one place to another, and not vice versa. I certainly don't have the strength to express and live out that kind of love to others. But God really does, so together, I trust much good will come of it all!

"I am the New Year"

Sorting through some things tonight, I came across this- something I had cut out of a church bulletin, from the beginning of 1999. Good timing:)

I am the new year.
I am an unspoiled page in your book of time.
I am your next chance at the art of living.
I am your opportunity to practice what you have learned
About life during the last twelve months.
All ha you sought and didn’t find is hidden in me, waiting
For you to search it out with more determination.
All the good that you trie for and didn’t achieve is mine to
Grant when you have fewer conflicting desires.
All that you dreamed but didn’t dare to do, all that you
Hoped but did not will, all the faith that you claimed
But did not hve, these slumber lightly, waiting to be
Awakened by the touch of a strong purpose.
I am your oportunty to renew your alliegence to Him who
Said, “behold, I make all things new.”
I am the new year.

Keeping the main thing main

I went to a memorial service today, for an incredible man I have been sooooo blessed to know. He died way too young, leaving behind a family, and loads of evidence of what is important to him- God, love, relationship, grace, wholeness.

I have often thought about life, and the things that are priorities, and this afternoon's events were a challenge to me, once again. What are the important things? and how do we make the most of our lives to ensure that we keep the main things the main things, rather than let other more immediate and insignificant things take over.

It was packed out, full of people, young and old, friends that had been recent, or life long. There was much spoken of love, and the life changing impact it has had, through him to his family, sons in laws, grandchildren and many, many others (including me!).

So, as the days unfold, it has been challenging to be reminded again to ask myself if I am keeping the main thing the main thing, and living each day for all it's worth for God's glory and love...!

Stepping out

It’s been a tough, tough week this last week, as I, and others very close by reach the end of 2009, and dive into the unknowns of 2010. Home and health have featured highly, with me moving in the next few days, and someone super close to me about to have a major operation. Both aren’t the final destination, and just buy time till more certainty, answers and decisions are reached.

How we have all been feeling through it all has been challenging. For me, I shut down and am super private about my feelings and emotions, hiding them away so that not even I can find them. This is fine for the big emotions that I generally don’t like to feel, like anger, hurt, sadness, but also means that, at times, I can’t tell what I think of a certain kind of music, or a band!

We have been given emotions, and for good reason too! Its ok to feel them, and express them- or it should be! Especially when its appropriate. There are times though when I feel like I go to extremes- of shutting everything off, to expressing them in a rather unrefined manner…

I have learned so much in 2009, and am excited about all that this year has to bring, and am looking forward to seeing God at work in wonderfully amazing ways. I am reminded once again of Ephesians 3:20, and ask that for each of us as we step into the new year, with all that God has for each of us, but that we would each step up to the table, and receive all God has prepared for us!