As the last year drew to an end, and a new one has started, I have been thinking back across all that has happened, and is to come. Altogether the conclusion was that last year was a really, really good year! It wasn’t an easy one, nor was it perfect, or go to ‘plan’ nor expectations met by any means though. Some things were impossibly hard, and other surprising, unexpected, hurtful, and so on. You get the drift.
But.
God was in it all. And He is always good, he knew what was happening and what was going to happen, how people were going to react, and how I was going to react…. And how I could react. Good doesn’t mean perfect. Or right, or happy all the time. But there was joy. Such good times, people and places.
I learned a lot, and challenged mindsets, and beliefs. Love won. And where fear would usually have the final say, Love took ground. It hurt, oh how it has hurt, but it has been amazing to see what might happen if I could get past the fear. And there is so much more in either direction, and I am not sure we will ever know or understand how far we can love others, or be afraid. And both impact us to the core of who we are and all we believe, about ourselves, others, and God.
Mother Theresa has said that ‘I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.’
Paradox is an understatement! But I read that at the beginning of last year, and was completely baffled and challenged by it, and so too, challenged to test it out.
Love has become more to me this last year. It’s not just a feeling, a thought, a vibe. It has taken root, grown legs, and flown. It involves action, choice beyond ourselves and purpose, and sometime the choice to be still within the action. To choose another course.
On new year’s eve I wrote down all the things I was thankful for in 2013. For 2014, there came another selection, of all the things I am looking forward to. Looking back on both, I was struck by how many people featured there. So many great people, who I get to do life with, and then there’s my favourite people in the world. There were lots of other things included, but mostly, there were names of people that I did life with, from housemates, friends, family, church family. A rich melting pot of pretty special people. I learned a lot, was challenged greatly to see things differently, and live differently. Life is so often shades on a spectrum, and we are all going places. And God has plans for us all, people, learnings, growings, and understanding just how much He loves us, for us, and to love Him, and others. So, maybe a good year, life, is about love, intimacy and relationship?? It was a good year.
Not perfect, but still good. So good.
