The other day I didn't do something. I stopped, observed, and kept on going. And then started berating myself as I thought back over what was happening. I should have helped. Should have changed the course of my direction for the need at hand, should have done something, should have found something, should have put the need before my own plans and directions. Worse still, someone else stepped in and helped, contributed, went out of their way. Someone who I have more that once thought, they "should have" done ^insert action^ differently to what they did do.
Should have
I should have...
They should have...
So destructive. So shamefilling.
We can't go back and change our actions, what we see or understand, we can only learn and go forward. We don't always understand what's going on inside us, the situation, and definitely don't always understand what's going on in other people. So, lesson learned, and no more berating of myself or others of what we should have or should be doing. Grace is amazing in situations like these! And compassion. At the same time as I was thinking through all these things, I came across the following quote
"Compassion breaks shame" One of the greatest ways to break shame off of our lives or shaming others is to offer compassion. Havilah Cunningham.
So, a fresh infusion of compassion seems like a good thing right now, for myself and in my perspective of others.
We all do the best we can with what we have and for me, am thankful for grace, and lessons learned and a very gracious God! Time to take the shamefilling versions of "should be, have, do" out of my vocabulary and replace it with a little more kindness and compassion.
