2011

What a year 2010 was. The people, events, ups, downs, special times, heartbreaking times. An amazing year. Being the first day of the next year though... ahh the possibilities. I often picture a story I once heard, and, thinking back on it today, wonder what that will mean for the year ahead.

Imagine a beautiful glass container. It can be as big or small as you like. Start off by putting in large-ish beautiful stones (for, they are the most important, and will take up the most space). They need to be chosen carefully though as only so many can fit in.

Following that, are smaller stones, or shells- the little beautiful ones you find on the beach. Next up are the grains of sand, and following that is the liquid that will cover all, be through all, and finish it off. The container that is the year ahead.

Some of it will be planned and intentional whereas others will be a surprise, unexpected and well, come out of the blue.

I am looking forward to being more intentional about a few things, see other things becoming more established and see how the whole year takes shape! I am looking forward to it:)

Motivation

Isn't it funny what we have motivation for! I have been thinking about the things I am interested in, and enjoy doing. But there seems to be a gap between them all.

There's the group of things I just have to do, because they are life, or I have committed to it, like, well, going to work. There are people who are a priority to see. I can always find time to see or talk to these people.

And then there are the things I should do, or would like to do, or even really like to do. And yes, the things I ought to do. I wish I had equal motivation for those things, and even for the interesting uni assignments which I really do know I want to sink my teeth into.... and yet... it would be nice to have a nice energy, and gung ho-ness about those things too!:)

Bloggers graveyard

Over the years since blogging started, I have bookmarked lots of blogs, to follow, keep up with, whether they were written by friends, or were of topics that were interesting to me, or had been recommended to me by friends.

It's always exciting to see some start up, but sad when they drop off again. There are some that I know are paused, and when they auther gets a chance, it will start again, but there are others that have been sitting, waiting for another visit for a year or more, or a big event happened...and that's it. I remember so many of those times, blogs and stories and have loved following friends in this way, but when do you pull the plug and delete the link? I can't bring myself to it, because it feels like deleting a friendship, and that would truly be sad, even if it is just in cyberspace.

Life does go on, and other events happen. I don't mind that the blogs stop, but I do miss them too!

Practical

It never ceased to amaze me that I can get soooo much done at work, and seemingly acheive so much, and then it comes to what I am studying.... and all motivation goes zip! Out the door!


I love what I am studying, and my work, and wonder at their connects, but wow it's hard to apply myself to the theoretical rather than the practical!


It was such a good, and successful work week too. I am so pleased with all that happened, and projects that are coming together. While it can be super hard work and I want to quit, I also really love my job, the opportunities, and the people I get to work with are pretty amazing! And when opportunities for these amazing groups bear fruit, that makes it all the more worthwhile!

As I get to the end of my degree, the question of 'what's next?' gets asked more and more, and while I don't have a clear answer, and feel like life is very bitty, know it's in good hands, and it will all fall in place at just the right time! But in the meantime, the next 6 weeks is going to be rather busy!!!

Open Doors

I have spent the last few days at a trade fair for Christian Booksellers. It has gone so fast, and there are so many people I would have liked to sit down and have long talks to, but it was such an immensly encouraging time though, of talking, sharing stories of what God has done, of seeing miracles, big and small. There are book shops that survive through the wonderful help of volunteers, while others step out and show God's love at Sexpo and the Mind Body Spirit festival, seeing miraculous events, and life changes daily!

Often there would be people who would suddly stop with heads bowed, praying, all encouraging each other and sharing their journeys.

The theme for me though, that kept coming through was, that all we need to do is pray, commit our way to God, and trust him to open the doors. For many of them, they saw it in the practical and the miraculous, the provision of abundance when a vision and dream had been defined, or when they felt like God was telling them to do something crazy rediculous!!

I think of events in my life, things I would like to see happen that I just can't make happen. There have been times when I have tried to open doors, or at least gently leaned on them hopefully. It all comes back to trusting God though, praying, and giving him room to move, something I still struggle with... I am wonderfully encouraged by the amazing men and women who are out there doing just that!!!:)

Dad's

I have been really mindful of quite a few situations over the last couple of weeks, and in a completely different context, VERY aware that father's day is coming up!

In both of these strange meanderings, it has amazed me yet again that I know some incredible fathers out there. They love their families with a fierce protective love, and feel the pain of helplessness when they can't fix the big painful issues that batter and bruise the people they care about most. They take amazing joy in their wives, and have amazing pride in all their children's accomplishments. I am so glad to know them all, and soooo glad to know some incredible honorable, integrity-filled, love filled, passionate, patient, God filled men!

Happy fathers day!:) And if you're not one yet, happy Father's day to be!:)

Meandering paths.

The last few weeks have been quite something really, challenging and enlightening at the same time. There has been some low lows, and a desperate need to hold my tongue and keeeeeep on holding it, as well as some really special highs.

It has amazed me again and again how the same route, even though within different contexts and language will get you to a similar destination! Sometimes its good, and not so good, intentional and unintentional...

Standing back and looking at different situations and events, there are moments when it's hard not to notice the elements that separate and unite. There have been elements of counselling and prayer ministry this week, which have been distinctly similar, and yes, they have been specific styles, they are also very different and one isn't necessarily going to replace the other.

I am so glad to be learning, and in a place to make connections, and yes, even actually have something to offer. there is still so much to learn though!! Meeting someone recently, it struck me hard when they said they were studying for the peice of paper... what a tragic loss, though yes, so understandible in so many situations, and yet, I watched someone go back to study this week and she hadn't been in any formal education since year 10. What excitement and joy she had after over 20 years, to be able to get stuck into something new.

That has been an incredible highlight of the last few weeks, as has seeing answers to prayer. God is good!

Blind spots

As my friends get older, and yes, more grown up, many are going on to have their third, even fourth or fifth children. One good friend has gone on to have seven children- all of whom are gorgeous unique and really special! I am looking forward ot be an aunt for the fourth time soon:)

Alongside that picture of wonderful blessings and bundles of joy, there are those who can't have children, for whatever reason. They haven't been able to, aren't in a position to, or have lost them. Some do go on to having children, but it is an emotional road that is walked.

With so many wonderful friends who are having children, it is such a special time to be around, to watch the joys unfold, and grieve when things don't go as they should. I have an overwhelming desire to punch certain people who judge others in relation to that, and am often shocked by the way the whole topic of children brings out the honest, and not always helpful opinions. So often it's heartbreaking- for people who have been blessed with 'many', or those with none, when they have got it 'wrong' in the minds of the person passing judgement. And no, I am not referring to any one person in particular- more the passing comments, criticisms, and opinions I have heard first, or second hand.

It's easy to develop moral blind spots, and I am sure I have them too, but and feeling rather fragile for those walking these days, and am glad I can be a spare pair of hands occasionally...

They are a miracle, a precious gift, not always easy, but somehow, someway we have been designed and created for relationship, and a big part of that includes children...

Single. White. Female.

I started a writing course last week, and am supposed to be writing for 15 minutes every day. In a journal. This is going to have to do for tonight though. And in general, it's going to have to be wherever I can squeeze the time and space into the day currently. Tonight, I just want to comment.

Single White Female. That's, well, some of the titles once could label me as. I won't go into any others for now, and for the purposes of todays comment, will leave it at that. Mostly, I get on with life, I am who I am within the life I am living, and that's fine. It might not be what I would prefer in some cases, but hey, I am alive, happy, love God best, have awesome friends and family... what more could I want, hey?! Well, it may not be more, but it might just be different.

Last week, within the multiple elements, big and little, totally unrelated, I came to be feeling VERY single, and very much a female!!

What surprised me though was how rarely I notice it being pointed out through other peoples actions, choices and exclusions.

And it's also got me thinking about how we can never know how people feel about different life circumstances, positive or negative, but, usually it's the negative ones that are kept most close to heart... like trying and not being able to have children- which is the case for so very many, but often, so often, our random, flippant, unthought out comments can often be so painful to others- and we often have no idea of the impact and emotion behind it.

It has been a good wake up call that I am grateful for, and am glad I can use where I am for good!:)

Abundance

Tonight was home group, and a time in the week where once again I give thanks for the amazing church I go to!! As the months have gone on this year, I have slowly settled into church, a home group, helping out with more things, finding a place there.

I can't get over how special different aspects of it are, and how the take me by such surprise over and over again, when actually, it should always be like this, right? An overwhelming abundance of grace, genuine care for one another.... I love it!!

Anyway, home group started again this week, and it was so wonderfully refreshing to be there again. One quirky thing I happen to love is the worship. We will occasionally get out dark blue plastic folders, someone will play a guitar, and while I am there, I am also transported back to a place and group of other people who do the same thing, and used to do it in much the same way, often even with similar songs! Brilliant!!

Anyway, I have been thinking through all these things, of abundance, desert, lavishness, dryness, quenching, overwhelming grace and love, because, as I look into next week- the start of a new semester, I don't feel ready. It feels like I have been doing everything from a place of emptiness, taking snatches of breath where I could, rather than drinking deeply of God's goodness and grace.

Tonight I started reading a book about creativity in an effort to find ways to be operating out of a place of abundant love and grace, and home group really helped to kick start that journey. So, no matter what's happening, and how busy it was, is, will be, and dry the environments are that I reside in, I hopefully will find that place of abundance, no matter what my circumstances...!

Servant Leadership

There's different kinds of leadership, the roles, styles, and well, attitudes.


I have been thinking about how different people lead a bit today and how effective it is, and how powerful it is as a way of communicating to others!

At work there's different leaders, and different leadership styles, different attitudes, and different intentions.

I guess, as part of a team who are mostly Christian, and some, not Christian, the way leadership is excercised is an immensly powerful communicator, whether it's of a servant leadership nature, or directed. It seems that the servant leader is the most powerful in communicating God's love and grace, while other modes can tend to be less helpful. It's easy to stand on a pedestal and tell everyone else what to do, or what others have done wrong, but harder too, to get stuck in, and lead through loving first, doing first, and working it out together.

It's something I struggle with, and am humbled by, but it's the servant leaders who are around me that motivate me to keep trying, keep being humble, and keep seeing others for who they really are,and the beauty which is within each.

I miss

I have a friend who I trust, and I have a friend who I don't think trusts me. They are the same person, but the one who doesn't trust took over from the one I trusted, and I miss my friend.

No particular reason for it tonight, but they are my friend and I miss their presence and voice in my life.

Hopefully my friend will turn up again soon:)

The Story of the Bamboo

A great friend would often remind us that 'blessed are the flexible, for they shall not break!"

Madly reading text books for college, I came acros this Chinese folk tale that reminded me of her...

The Story of the Bamboo

During a fierce storm, the bambo bends every which way the wond blows, while the other trees (eg, Oak) stand straight and resist the wind. But after the storm the bamboo tree stands proudly, looking into the heavens and reaching for life, dreams and hopes. The other trees lie on the ground lifeless and without hope because they resisted the wind; they were not flexible and did not move with the wind.

Merge

A couple of weeks ago, we had a guest lecturer at college. She was great, and shared about a bredth of topics in quite a fast span of time. Topics covered included politics, aboriginal affairs, children, travel, poverty, Christianity... the list went on. It was a greatfew hours, and in the end was one of the most challenging lectures I have ever heard!!

In amongst it all, she managed to encompass my past, present and future... of what I thought I was leaving behind, am currently living, and would like to be living. It was only in the days that followed that I came to realise some things I really value- like being able to help people in need, faith and values I have comed to see as special in a whole new light.

I came out of that lecture absolutely wrecked all the way through. Much of that related to being in a very wealthy country, yet wanting to walk that balance of where I have been overseas, wanting to go further afield, and here too, but in the end was the crashing together of areas that I have kept very defined and seperate.

So, in amongst all the other things that goes on, is the slow piecing together of each area of life, and finding a new way to fit all the puzzles together into one, rather than leaving them as 3 distinct puzzles!

Shine on

I am reading a weekly devotion book at the moment, called Simple Compassion, byKeri Wyatt Kent. It's a great book, and I am really appreciating the simplicity, and simutaneous complexity of the topics she covers.


At one stage she quotes Marian Williamson, from her book, Return to Love saying....


"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that mos frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.



It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."



I love that quote, but would love to understand how the whole of it works out in action! We can all shine, and live in confidence of who we have been created to be in Christ, but I don't know how our actions liberate others unless they have first received the awareness and confidence of seeing that they can shine to manifest the glory of God that is within each of us! One day, hopefully I will work it out!

I did buy a card this afternoon for a friend though, saying...


"the world needs your kind of strength, your passion, your humour, your creativity, your heart, your mind, your brilliance. Shine On."


Go Dayspring:)

Tuesdays

Tuesdays is currently my favorite day (weekday) of the week, though they all have good highlights. Tuesday though, there is a wonderful group who meets at work during lunch to do devotions together, and now, on Tuesday nights, I head north, for about an hour or more's drive, find a place to do uni work and eat, then head over to my new bible study!

I have been going to my new church for about 5 months now, and well... with any new thing, really don't like the who new routine, people, structure, getting to know you conversations and the like. But I recently decided that I was just going to go to a home group and be done with it, and it's fabulous! I am loving it, the people, the flow, starting to get to know a small group properly, and it's great! I am starting to get involved in different things that are happening too, and while it feels like it's a super slow process, it's happening. Things and involvement are slowly taking form and shape, and God has been showing me some amazing things for which I am truly grateful!:)

En route

I found out tonight that something I wrote is getting published into a booklet with a number of other Christian women. It is an incredibly humbling thing, because while I don't know everyone who is in it, I know who quite a few of them are, and they are the most amazing women.

I like writing when the urge takes me, and while I have no idea what the book will look like, I know what it is intended use is. I am also amazed that I was asked to contribute, considering that the journey that took me to that point started years ago, and once I had made a decision that, well took over a year in itself, it was nearly thwarted again in a most disasterous way. I am so glad to be where I am at, to have been brought this far, and so very grateful that, while I have no idea what the destination is for much of the current things I am involved in, I know that God does, so in all of it, the crazy essay writing and random work, I am glad to be able to trust him in it all!

Story Water

A story is like water
that you heat for your bath.
It takes messages between the fire
and your skin. It lets them meet,
and it cleans you!
Very few can sit down,
in the middle of the fire itself
like a salamander or Abraham.
We need intermediaries.
A feeling of fullness comes,
but usually it takes some bread
to bring it.
Beauty surrounds us,
but usually we need to be walking
in a garden to know it.
The body itself is a screen
to shield and partially reveal
the light that's blazing
inside your presence.
Water, stories, the body,
all the things we do, are mediums
that hide and show what's hidden.
Study them,
and enjoy this being washed
with a secret we sometimes know,
and then not.

-Coleman Barks (Translator), the Essential Rumi

The foolish and the wise

At church this morning, we were looking at Psalm 1- a wisdom psalm. It sparked a search for a comparison between what a fool is, and who someone who is wise is. I didn't have to go to far- went back through Psalm 1, and was stuck into Jeremiah where I am reading at the moment.

So, here's a list of a foolish person, and a wise person, from God's perspective. It's not complete by any means, but covers quite alot for a few chapters!!

The fool is...
Wicked
Keeps company with sinners and mockers
Is like chaff and will blow away..
Will fall at judgement
Will perish
Doesn't know God
Has no understanding
Is skilled at evil
Doesn't know how to do good
Has no sense
Is foolish
Doesn't know God's ways
Doesn't see, hear or fear God
Is selfish, doesn't care for those in need.


The wise person.....
Is skilled at good
Is righteous and knows God
Has good sense
Deals honestly with others
Seeks truth
Delights in the Law of the Lord
Meditates on it
Is like a tree firmly planted
Stands in the time of judgement
Is among the assembly of the righteous
God watches over them

So, while I am not wise by Sydney (media portrayed) standards, it seems- half the time, well, most of the time...... hopefully I am definately not a fool by God's standards! I am so glad for God's truth, grace and how overwhelmingly and lavishly he loves us!

New Blog

As if we need another new blog, especially now people have moved on to notes in Facebook, and twittering, but I need more room than than, so have begun again..:)

So, introducing Soul Beloved!

Conference last weekend

I had an amazing weekend last weekend. most of it was spent at a conference run by Bill Johnson, from Bethel Church in Redding california. I have heard him speak before- a year ago, and listened to many of his talks over the years.

I so wanted to get as much possible out of last year, but was really glad for the opportunity to return again, where it sunk in so much more! Going with a friend was so special- neither of us would have gone if the other hadn't, and we both saw God moving, and working through us all in so many different ways.

Looking back there was so much I learned, and was reminded of. It was great to go back to some of the really simple lessons, such as the immense importance of knowing who we are in Christ, of seeing how God sees us, knowing that we are his children, and as such are already 'There'. We belong, not because of what we have done, but because we beleive the one who saved us.

It was incredible to see people being healed, of seeing the joy, confidence, wonder and thrill of seeing our heavenly Father loving each of us in amazingly different and unique ways.

Bring it on!:)

Fresh Air

One of the quotes we were given in a lecture last week was the following. It immediately brought my post of emotional residue to mind and made me laugh! What a comparison!!


Where, for me in that case, it was 'just' feeling like I was in the process of losing a friend, it can be anything, and that residue just needs time to air out for a while:) We're not machines and all deal with things differently. Some things just take time!


"Feelings cannot be 'fixed' as if they were a torn patchwork quilt in need of a needle and thread. Like a musty blanket, feelings require sunlight, day after day, until the fresh air has finally cleared the cold dampness away."


Anne Kaiser Stearns

The tension in our hearts...

I was with a new bunch of people last night, some I knew, and others I didn't. Great fun! It's the type of group I have been to hundreds of times, and yet its different, quite different.

The woman leading worship commented on how it feels to 'live' in more than one country, and the tension that creates in one's heart. It is there. It doesn't go away. I have three home countries, and when I moved the the third, remember thinking at the time, this was really silly- especially knowing what it was like to have two countries already. I wasn't wrong, but know I would rather have the tension of three home countries than two, at the same time. Special times!

It got me thinking about tension of the heart in different situations. I don't like tension. I like completeness, resolution, solutions. I would rather sort out things that run away. Unanswered questions, confusion, unsaid apolagies and explanations aren't something I deal well with. I had to laugh though because I realised that I don't like it to the point where I have said to the other person what I have wanted them to say to me, whether it's an apology or whatever.

There aren't always answers, resolutions, healing. Sometimes there's the tension in our hearts. And I will feel that till I go Home to Heaven, and that's ok:)

I have an amazing life, with awesome experiences, and people. That tension is a gift, because it reminds me that I care, and have people around the world worth caring about.

The power of the spoken word

My boss has given a copy of two books to lots of people recently, having read it, and been changed by them. I have yet to read them, but hopefully will get to them soon! One is called Truth and Transformation, by Vishal Mangalwadi, and shares insights on Nations around the world, and their development from a Christian perspective.

A colleague shared something that had really struck her this week, which confirmed something I have been trying to live out. Nice when someone shares something, and it resonates!

Anyway, Mangalwadi comments...

'Postmodernism has lost confidence in words because the West has rejected its logocentric worldview. Yet the fact is that human beings creat culture and history because we speak. Words are creative because they presuppose imagination and freedom. Freedom means that our words can be true or false, liberating or deceiving, constructive or destructive. Our words can capture the invisible laws that regulate the cosmos because behind the cosmos are words- the Creator's words. Words create and transform.

Isn't it amazing that God spoke, and the world was formed, in all it's beauty, and creativity, colour, form, pattern and glory. Our words have power too, to bring life, or death, hope, or despair in how we use them, as we cut each other down, or build each other up.

I guess it's easy to think it's spoken and gone, but not so. What a gift of life we have each been given to pass onto others!!

Gaither Vocal Band I Then Shall Live lyrics

Gaither Vocal Band I Then Shall Live lyrics: "I Then Shall Live by Gaither Vocal Band
I then shall live as one who's been forgiven.
I'll walk with joy to know my debts are paid.
I know my name is clear before my Father;
I am His child and I am not afraid.
So, greatly pardoned, I'll forgive my brother;
The law of love I gladly will obey.

I then shall live as one who's learned compassion.
I've been so loved, that I'll risk loving too.
I know how fear builds walls instead of bridges;
I'll dare to see another's point of view.
And when relationships demand commitment,
Then I'll be there to care and follow through.

Your Kingdom come around and through and in me;
Your power and glory, let them shine through me.
Your Hallowed Name, O may I bear with honor,
And may Your living Kingdom come in me.
The Bread of Life, O may I share with honor,
And may You feed a hungry world through me.

Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen."

Emotional residue

I have been thinking through a few things over the last few days, of various recent events, of things done, not done, or shouldn't have been done.

It's fine and should be fine, but still, there is something, something attached. I was talking to someone recently, and the phrase popped out.. that in all the good, bad, and well, painful, the emotional residue remains. We remember the emotions felt, whether good or bad, painful, angry, joyful, and as we remember events, we remember the associating emotions and feelings.

I am trying to give time, space and distance to something, but the emotional residue remains. I want so much to get rid of it, to move on, and for it to be cut off, because I know what I feel hasn't been intended. It's just what happened.

In so many things, my head moves on, and yet, there is some emotional residue left... it remains stuck like a bad habit. I don't want it, know it doesn't make sense, and yet it lingers... fortunately experience says it passes, or is superseded, and we move on

Swings

I love swings. Especially swings with long, long ropes, so it feels like you are flying as you arc through the air. Better yet, when there is a row of swings, or at least one other, and you're swinging with a friend.

There is that moment though, that incredible moment, when you are swinging at exactly the same speed, velocity, angle, time, keeping perfect pace with each other. Priceless.

What makes it even more precious is that you just have to enjoy it while it lasts, because usually it is just a moment, and then the two swings gradually move out of time again, but that moment of swinging in time is just.... weightless!

Fortunately it doesn't just happen when you're swinging on swings which, is lovely, because there are times when you suddenly realize that you're in that really good place of unity. It may not last forever, or it may change, or you may just be ready to get off the swing, but that moment is precious, and a priceless gift that can't be bought.

An awesome God gift!:)

The Journey

It's funny what happens, looking forward, looking backwards, different perspectives, decisions.

Last year was such a year of learning new things- in so many areas, I was amazed at how much there was to learn, and there was much to learn quickly. Something I have continued to learn in different and new contexts has been to trust God, but particularly to trust God with relationships, in different ways I continue to be amazed and blessed by how gentle God is, in giving guidance, pointers, and general encouragement along the way.

Anyway, this year, a new start, home, adventures. God has new things, and while its all crazy as the changes keep happening, he has the journey sorted. He knows where the twists and turns are, and God, and me, will be able to make it through.

As the ultimate people pleaser, it has always been super hard to put all those voices, presumptions and apparent expectations aside, and follow the voice of the One who counts best, and most. So, herein lies the challenge. To live each day, listening to God first. Obeying God first.

I love this photo- it is one I took a couple of years ago while in Ireland. I love the twists and turns of the road, and of the unknown adventure of the journey ahead. God knows where the road, and that's totally awesome!

That's my Christmas present to Jesus. The road ahead.

Home is.....

This morning I walked into church and something had changed.

I have been listening to the talks online for about 3 years now, and wanted to go there since returning to Sydney 1 1/2years ago. I have often gone to visit but never really felt like I could attend.

This morning, something changed. the talk was on love, family and community- things that are important to me. I felt though that I could go up for prayer, that I could sign up for a welcomers lunch, was happy to catch up with friends, be invited to a bible study and actually feel like it would be great to go!

Smething has change. And while I am back in transit-land again, I am also Home.

Home is where the heart is, home is in God's presence, my heart says here, and so here I am. Home.

There is a bit of a flip side though. There are other places that should be home, but aren't really, but I desperately want them to be. So therein lies the challenge- to bring the concept of Home from one place to another, and not vice versa. I certainly don't have the strength to express and live out that kind of love to others. But God really does, so together, I trust much good will come of it all!

"I am the New Year"

Sorting through some things tonight, I came across this- something I had cut out of a church bulletin, from the beginning of 1999. Good timing:)

I am the new year.
I am an unspoiled page in your book of time.
I am your next chance at the art of living.
I am your opportunity to practice what you have learned
About life during the last twelve months.
All ha you sought and didn’t find is hidden in me, waiting
For you to search it out with more determination.
All the good that you trie for and didn’t achieve is mine to
Grant when you have fewer conflicting desires.
All that you dreamed but didn’t dare to do, all that you
Hoped but did not will, all the faith that you claimed
But did not hve, these slumber lightly, waiting to be
Awakened by the touch of a strong purpose.
I am your oportunty to renew your alliegence to Him who
Said, “behold, I make all things new.”
I am the new year.

Keeping the main thing main

I went to a memorial service today, for an incredible man I have been sooooo blessed to know. He died way too young, leaving behind a family, and loads of evidence of what is important to him- God, love, relationship, grace, wholeness.

I have often thought about life, and the things that are priorities, and this afternoon's events were a challenge to me, once again. What are the important things? and how do we make the most of our lives to ensure that we keep the main things the main things, rather than let other more immediate and insignificant things take over.

It was packed out, full of people, young and old, friends that had been recent, or life long. There was much spoken of love, and the life changing impact it has had, through him to his family, sons in laws, grandchildren and many, many others (including me!).

So, as the days unfold, it has been challenging to be reminded again to ask myself if I am keeping the main thing the main thing, and living each day for all it's worth for God's glory and love...!

Stepping out

It’s been a tough, tough week this last week, as I, and others very close by reach the end of 2009, and dive into the unknowns of 2010. Home and health have featured highly, with me moving in the next few days, and someone super close to me about to have a major operation. Both aren’t the final destination, and just buy time till more certainty, answers and decisions are reached.

How we have all been feeling through it all has been challenging. For me, I shut down and am super private about my feelings and emotions, hiding them away so that not even I can find them. This is fine for the big emotions that I generally don’t like to feel, like anger, hurt, sadness, but also means that, at times, I can’t tell what I think of a certain kind of music, or a band!

We have been given emotions, and for good reason too! Its ok to feel them, and express them- or it should be! Especially when its appropriate. There are times though when I feel like I go to extremes- of shutting everything off, to expressing them in a rather unrefined manner…

I have learned so much in 2009, and am excited about all that this year has to bring, and am looking forward to seeing God at work in wonderfully amazing ways. I am reminded once again of Ephesians 3:20, and ask that for each of us as we step into the new year, with all that God has for each of us, but that we would each step up to the table, and receive all God has prepared for us!

A moment

Something strange happened this week. Well, it was a moment, where nothing changed, but…. Something has changed. Perspectives, relationships, definition, something foundational has changed, which has caused everything to be re-aligned. And yet, to all extents and purposes, nothing has changed… yet. But looks like it will. Some things only take a moment.

So, it is with some fear and hope, I look forward to seeing what these changes bring, and I look for something fun, daring and adventurous to do in the meantime. Current thought is a fun tattoo… but will see:)

Love in action...

I have been thinking about the passage in 1 Corinthians 13, well, all year, in different contexts now. It continues to come up in different ways, and different aspects have been highlighted to me as I have journeyed through this year.

More recently, I have been reminded and challenged by the challenge, that without love we are nothing, just a clanging bell. That love is in action, an excercise in restraint, and pro-activity.

Last week, I watched the I Heart movie with a friend, which was so refreshing and eye opening- there was much to think through and review. But as they read through 1 Corinthians 13, the word trust came up again.

Love always trusts. Wow. As part of a whole context, it's easy to slip past it, but that's quite something to feel safe enough to love, but to love and trust, and actively trust people. Now that's a special thing, especially when you don't often get the chance to excercise trust in action, let alone love.

I have been so blessed this week to see it in action this week though, and while it felt like there were times when I didn't excercise that trust to the extent I wanted, there were changes.

It was a special week of love and trust in action and as this week comes to an end, am glad to have learned some good lessons, and very grateful for the love I have seen in action! I continue to have much to learn!!

A day in the country

A few weeks ago, I was able to head out to Bathurst for a day to help some people set up an independant Christian shop. It was such a fun day, spent with some great colleagues, and having fun with an amazing amount of space trying to make products look good enough for people to buy!

The best bit though was the community feel of the space! The space I was looking after happened to be the shop front window (yippeeee!) which meant I was in a position to be the one people spoke to when they walk past, parked in front of, popped out of their shop front, or, because the local paper was at the corner, receive the business card of one of the writers!

It was so fun to talk to people who came by asking what was going on, giving tips and pointers, encouragement (you're in a great location), or hmm... it's a quiet street...! One was really pleased and committed to praying for the shop, and people working there, while another was going to tell everyone at church all about it!

In all, it was a lovely day of seeing community at work and at its best. Positive, encouraging, helpful, and connected. While I have been part of commnity, I haven't really been part of such a connected community for a long time, so realised again that I missed it.

Hopefully new opportunities will unfold for communities, especially as my footsteps take me to new places, and away from the community I have started to become part of where I am living now, but till then... I guess community it where you make it, and we need it here and I am enjoying supporting and encouraging these amazing people as they pursue the challenge of making this amazing shop a success:)

I have to say though, that every time I think about it, the theme song to Cheers comes to mind..:)

Postive Truth Telling

I had a few conversations recently where I almost asked a question, but then didn't. They weren't bad questions or particularly controversial, but for various reasons I didn't ask.

Anyway, after the last time that happened, I was reminded of spending time with a lovely friend who had popped in for a very short time, and I hadn't seen in about 2 years. Anyway, she said at the beginning that we had to speak truth the whole weekend, and if we had a question, we just had to ask it- which was challenging and so refreshing! Maybe its the level of trust that means we can indeed ask the questions, no matter what, but it also means we have a much deeper friendship for which I am grateful.

So, I think I am going to start challenging myself to ask the questions that come to mind more, to speak the truth in a positive way that is encouraging and faith building, and see what comes of each of these friendships... will people be wierded out, or will they be encouraged, and will it be ok for me to be me, and not hold it in...

People of life

I was doing a slightly different job last week at work,and the first day found me seeking out a friend to ask her something... and it got me thinking about encouraging people! She's such an encouragement to me, and LOVES seeing what God is doing wherever he's at work, and keeps an eye out for encouraging moments, whether from a sermon, something God has shown her, or seeing how God has blessed her, or others. She delights in those moments, and sharing them with others so they are blessed too!

I would love to be more like that- to see those God moments, and be able to share them with others in a joyful way that encourages them in turn! I try, but don't always succeed- often feeling in the way, and not being able to articulate what I want to say well, or just giving up for various reasons. Like all things though, I guess it comes with practice and perseverance, and keeping me eyes open for those moments of being able to bless and encourage others!:)

Our Father's banqueting table

His Banner Over Me

He brought me to His banqueting table (echo).
He brought me to His banqueting table (echo).
And His banner over me is love.

I am my beloved's and He is mine (echo).
I am my beloved's and He is mine (echo).
And His banner over me is love.
Yes His banner over me is love.

And we can feel the love of God in this place.
We believe Your goodness,
We receive Your grace.
We delight ourselves at Your table, O God.
You do all things well, just look at our lives.



I am starting to see this song in a whole new light....

Blessed be your name!

I love the song 'Blessed be your name' and how wonderfully it speaks of the way God gives us gifts, and while God has different purposes in the gifts, life is a gift, as is all that's within it. It's all about perspective!!

I was reminded of that song again today and of how God gives and takes away, and we can choose our attitude within the gift giving, and receiving. I have been so blessed with such alot of things this year, and so aware that there are alot of things within that that I couldn't take for granted. I have so loved the lessons learned, places, people, times spent, and knowing that through it all, it had a time limit, whatever that might be...

Next year will be fun! A few things have happened this week, and one in particular, that means that everything else will too, and while it's sad, it's exciting too! I started praying about a month for a door to open, and who knows:) Maybe it's starting!

Hopefully through it all, no matter what, I will continue to trust God in all things, and events,and as the song goes, my heart will choose to say, blessed be Your name!

Living example?

I have an assignment due next week. I haven't started. I am living the assignment, in many ways, which is good, and very in my face.

I note my relationship style, how my affect comes into play, the anxiety I feel, and my actions that seem to follow so quickly much to my regret, all too often.

I want to get off this boat! I see the light, hope of a new road and adventure, and I want it, I choose that way, that route... but how do I get from here to there, crossing the great divide I have spent my whole life running away from?

This is where the theory becomes action and hopefully with the questions and confusions, so to will the answers.

A wise friend promised in her blog never to delete anything and today I choose the same, to remind myself of where I have been and am going. And with her wise words tonight, in a situation she knows nothing about apart from my tears, will choose once again to trust God in thoughts, words and actions.

Challenges

At college we are learning alot of new things, new stories, new lives, new ways to see the past, present and future. Some things are good, and some not so good. Some are just plain emotional as we look back on painful events and memories.

We are also being challenged to rewrite our stories in different ways, and I am trying hard to take steps to do so in different ways- some easier than others. As I try and navigate some though, they are just plain challenging, and new, with new ways of thinking, reacting to others, myself and situations. Not always so much fun, as I seem to find myself in situations that aren't always friendly or pleasant, and yet it is with the hope of something better than ever!

I sometimes wish we didn't have to go through the pain and frustration of change though that often brings us out to new fresh pasture!!

Calling a spade a spade..

I avoid confrontation. Argument. disagreement. distaste. dischord. anger. I hide away, and do all I can to see the good, positive and what must have been intended.....

Tonight I expressed my disagreement to something I had seen over the weekend. It was a new situation and context, new people, and perspectives, but the results of this event left a bad taste in my mouth, so... this time I rose to the challenge and have expressed that experience to the situation. I have needed a few days, and a few conversations to work out where I really stand on it all, and hopefully have been encouraging even in my disagreement of the event.

But oh, I don't like having to do it!

Should I have done it though?? We are doing a series on Titus at church at the moment, and in a nutshell, false teaching calls for comment.... it is a great series, and I will hopefully share more on it at some stage soon! But for now.....well, will see.

Stories

I have been thinking about stories over the last few days, different stories, in different contexts. We all have our own story, and are part of each others. I heard the story again of the work in Hong Kong, and realised that, like so many others, I am a part of that story- even though I haven’t been there in a while now. At work, there is a story, and I often wonder at whose story it is. Is it ‘mine’- belonging to one person’s, or ours, or our’s but actually ‘mine’- belonging to just one.

I drove home this evening along a route where I pass many friends houses and as I thought of them, it was with thanks, and a wave (not that anyone sees!:)) but it was also with sadness as some have dropped off the radar a little and I wonder how much I should say, or push, or if it is just a phase, and they are just busy. They are a part of my story, and vice versa, and I love that- I think of them with gratitude, and love time spent with them- for the beautiful tapestry that has been crated by their place in my life, and hopefully vice versa..! I was thinking of the ‘story lines’ that feel like they are fading slightly, and sad, but grateful for the time spent too, but came across a friend’s blog tonight, and was blessed to see some of me in it- part of her story, and was wonderfully filled with a renewed sense of how we are part of each others story- we all have our own too, that is beautiful and unique- and realized that as we share ourselves, we don’t give that part away completely so there is less of us- it is more like the loaves and fishes! As we share ourselves, our lives, and our stories, we multiply. We grow, bear fruit, share, and there is enough, and more for everyone, in abundance!

Today, I was reading about narrative therapy- of each of us being able to tell our story- not just the extremely negative bit (as can often happen), but the positive too- and am encouraged by the new stories that are unfolding, with people known and unknown, acquaintances that may become friends, or others met in different ways… and who knows what God has in store for each of us! What an exciting adventure!

Worship Central on Vision to Action

I listened to an awesome talk a couple of weeks ago on the Worship Central podcast- which, yes, is on worship! Anyway, there was an interview with Tricia Neill who overseas everything on the Alpha International team about taking Vision to Action- and in this case, it was the huge vision of taking the Alpha course worldwide. Amazing! I have just listened to it again to take notes as I wanted to share it with work, so thought I would post it here just cos I can!

Key tips

Vision without implementation is a waste of time. Leaders who have the vision- need a person to implement and put the systems in place to make the vision a reality. If you have a big vision- you need people to make it a reality.

Surround yourself with people who compliment your skills. If you see a gap- find somebody who can fill it. It is important to be able to see what you can and can’t do, and find people who can supplement it.

Remember to communicate your vision- depending on the people involved in your vision- more to the people who are closely involved in the vision, and slightly less with the people who are further away. The key people you need to keep involved in the vision and also the key team.

It is more difficult to share vision with email- relationship is the key! Phone, in person, spending time with people. Meet with your team regularly. Ensure they have ownership of the area they are responsible for.

Team- meet up with them individually every 2-3 weeks. They look to the leader for direction, vision, and encouragement.

Clear lines of communication, and people to report to, and receive support.
Regular one on one and team meetings are important. When there are regular meetings in place that cover the various areas- everyone can work in freedom because they know that a time has been set aside to meet together and all get on the same page.

Take people to see the vision lived out in other places (Eg- for HTB church- Sandy Miller would take people to see John Wimber in the US to see what was happening there) and have a taste of what’s going to happen. Bring them to something to see where they could get to. Involve the people in getting from where they are to where they want to be so they have ownership.

Difficult people and situations- open discussion. If you have a relationship and its ongoing it’s easier to be encouraging. Be encouraging! Highlight the things they are good at. Ask them how they think they went, or are going? Regular honest, encouraging feedback that encourages people to grow, diffuses any issues, and dispels any disconnect.

Focus

Someone paid me a lovely compliment this evening- that I am very focussed on God, and people. It was a surprse, and special, but is opposite to something I have been thinking about- lately I have been thinking about how much I feel I get blown about on the wind, by people, stronger voices, other people's priorities, so my life is filled up with... stuff, and I am not always sure, in the end what it is I want in the short term. Long terms, I think I am on the right track...

It's got me thinking again about what's important- of those boundaries that get talked about so often, of filling our lives with what's truly meaningful, or just passing, of storing up treasure in heaven... all big pic vs little pic stuff, I imagine... but whatever way it is- as our lecturer said to us this afternoon, we can each see ourselves as our Heavenly Father sees each of us- as the one Jesus loves!

Do you want to be well?

I have been pondering this question over the last few weeks in the context of college and a course I did recently. I have a sneaking suspicion that it is a much bigger question than I can fathom. It encompasses every choice I make- as I choose the healing and new life, rather than the whole way of doing things, of where I live, go to church, what I do for my birthday this year. It covers how I see myself, my fears, and how I perceive others and life around me- not to mention what I choose to feel, say, and act.

I want so much more of God’s presence in my life and get little tastes of it every so often, that leaves me wanting more, and yet, my life is what it is, here now. It leaves me wondering if it is just a season, and eventually the doors will open up for new things soon, and for now I just need to be faithful with what I have and savor them as a gift given till new doors open… or I just go ahead and take a great leap?!:)

Anyway, I have been reading and thinking through the question “do you want to get well?” that Jesus asked the man at the Pool of Bethesda. It’s an amazing passage on so many levels. But the question of being well- of course anyone would choose that, right? But the old way is known and familiar, safe in its expectations, and roles in society. To be well is an incredible gift, and yet holds so many connotations, expectations, new identity and tasks- no small thing- especially for someone who had been an invalid for 38 years! And yet- do we want to be well? When it has been given to us, how do we walk it out? I find it’s easy when it isn’t challenged, and when I am feeling fine and have the emotional resources to rise up to challenges, but it’s when unexpected turns occur, and things happen that challenge our healing and new found identity, when we are removed from the situation where it first happened… that’s where we have to choose healing, choose life, choose God’s perspective. Jesus says he has come that we might have life, and have it to the full, so once again, I choose life!

Thinking about counseling practice...

I have been hunting for a while now, for a brave person to practice on, for college. Studying counseling is great fun and I am learning so much- and it just keeps going! I am amazed at how much I have learned and then, looking forward- seeing how much more there is yet to learn, and just how much I need to practice!

Anyway, it has been quite a process getting the guts up to find a way to ask friends to be brave enough to agree to be ‘practiced upon’. Even braver have been the people who have eventually been amazing and said that they would indeed! Fortunately (probably!:) for them, I have found someone who has agreed to well, be listened to, which is great. I have been thinking about the other people though who put their hands up though. It’s such a funny thing- going to talk to someone who is trustworthy, outside the context of whatever is happening, and doing what counselors/psychologists do can be enormously helpful, and yet… like going to the Dr, we don’t want to, and choose not to till a situation gets really, really bad! It’s got me thinking about that middle ground, between talking to friends and getting up the courage to actually go and see someone. The funny thing is that the idea is usually harder than the reality, and once we have talked over whatever it is we need to talk over, often we feel better, and have the benefit of clearer perspective. I wonder if it would be easier to find some middle ground, or do we need to raise awareness of the role of a counselor- that they are indeed on your side, and won’t think the worse of you for any reason. They might not be impressed at the way other people are/have treated you, but that’s an entirely different story.

Thinking about that middle ground too… visions of a fast food restaurant come to mind!! But in actual fact, think it might be more akin to eating your fruit and veg every day before you have to make some major life changing decisions because you suddenly find you need to have heart surgery!

For now though, I am so grateful for these amazing people for their courage and bravery, and for the amazing way people stand in the gap for others!

Awesome quote

A friend sent this to me, so thought I would share!

“We often think that service is doing things for others. That sometimes needs to be. But service takes on its true character when we do things with others. This is never an easy road to travel. It is the slow road requiring much patience and care. It gives credit to what another may contribute. It takes on the pace of another. We find it easier to do things for others. We can then be our quick and efficient selves. We can then set the terms and conditions. We can then be available or withdraw when it suits us. Such service may make us feel good, but it frequently disempowers the other person.

Service with others does not have a quick end result in view. It has a process in view. It sees service as a joining with the other. It sees service as a companionship and walking a common road.”

Charles Ringma

Personality Testing

I have been doing a lot of personality tests for one of my assignments over the last few weeks, so thought I would share them with you. Some were helpful, others gave a list of letters and descriptions, but the one that I though was best was the one we had to compare the rest to- the RHETI- an enneagram.

Anyway, here are the websites, so if you feel like it, take a look and see how you go. The first three use the Myers Briggs score outcome, whereas the Enneagram has a different set of descriptors.

First up is the Socionics test, which is a list of questions.

The Keirsey test is one where you have to choose 60-90 words that best describe you, then best describe what you are not. An interesting one.

There is the Myers Briggs test (there is one going around on Face book at the moment)

And then there is the Enneagram! There is a short version on the website, but I have the book of the longer official version. I did try the short one, and it was fairly close. This is the one I preferred as it gives an idea of who you are, who you are at your best, and not so best, when you are angry, and gives some direction of where you can potentially go from there- it’s much more transitional and growth oriented which I found helpful. Let me know what you think:)

Enjoy!

All things new

My head seems to be on overload a fair amount of the time, and right now it's on overload, because one of the random things I am doing this week... is starting a business...!!!

Well, it's a tiny seed of a business, but I have high hopes for it to last and grow (Slowly and steadily!). It's big (to me) and scary (depending on how I am thinking of it), but I have been amazed by what talking to people has done, and how this has all grown out of talking with people, random conversations, or strings of conversations as the case may be....

So, this Saturday will be the first week. I will be selling soaps and stationery from an awesome organisation based in the Philippines that do an incredible job. I love that by stepping out in this way, it will help people in another country, and while I haven't met them yet, I am getting to know each of their stories!

I am so grateful for each of the people who have supported me so far, for the conversations and people along the way, for the awesome ideas, and people's willingness to help. Amazing.

And as with all things, time will tell, God will be there, and I just have to keep excercising my trust in him!

Fully Alive

Fully Alive

I will not die an unlived life.

I will not live in fearof falling or catching fire.

I choose to inhabit my days,

to allow my living to open me,

to make me less afraid,

more accessible,

to loosen my heartuntil it becomes a wing,

a torch, a promise.

I choose to risk my significance;

to live so that which came to me as seed

goes to the next as blossom

and that which came to me as blossom,

goes on as fruit.

- Dawna Markova


One of my lecturers shared this with the class this week, and it was so evocative of many things I have been thinking through this year. The picture of a bird soaring on the wind has been one that continues to come back to me, and this poem reminded me of that, and much more. Enjoy!

Melbourne

I went to Melbourne for work last weekend. It was awesome, but completely exhausting, and different to the time there that I had expected. Apart from catching up with a good friend from HK, we really did see the hotel room, the convention centre, and the walk down the river in between!

It was also a lovely time of encouragement, of seeing an eclectic team of people working together- a group who see each other twice a year, as they are all based around the country as reps for the company.

One of the things that most encouraged me, was that yes, we are a mostly peopled by Christians, and, as such, were a company in a mainstream gift show. So, we were representing the company, and as Christians, being ambassadors for God. It was such an encouragement then, to meet other Christians there, and to see people’s reactions as they came onto our stand. Some asked if we were a Christian organization, so we were able to share in different cases, which was absolutely lovely. One pair of women asked, because they have a niece who is 9 and a Christian, so were wondering! In a crazy time away, it was those moments when God broke through in wonderfully life bringing ways which made it all worthwhile.

Isaiah

I have recently started reading Isaiah, and was really stuck by chapter 3 and 4! Chapter 3 starts by describing what sounds like the main building blocks that holds Jerusalem together, from food and water, to leaders, to the average man who does his job, saying he will remove them from their positions and destroy the land, and yet, coming to chapter 4, there is a beautiful picture of love, care, and redemption!! It says…

In that day, the Branch of the Lord will be beautiful and glorious and the fruit of the land will be the pride and glory of the survivors in Israel. Those who are left in Zion, who remain in Jerusalem, will be called holy, all who are recorded amongst the living in Jerusalem. The Lord will wash away the filth of the women of Zion; he will cleanse the bloodstains from Jerusalem by a spirit of judgment and a spirit of fire. Then the Lord will create over all of Mount Zion and over those who assemble there a cloud of smoke by day and a glow of flaming fire by night; over all the glory will be a canopy. It will be a shelter and a shade from the heat of the day, and a refuge and hiding place from the storm and rain. (Isaiah 4:2-6)

I love that picture, the God has a plan, that he saves, and creates beauty out of what is soiled, washing it clean, and that its’ God that is our hiding place, our refuge who we can turn to, and be protected in the storm and rain.

I have read Isaiah in bits and pieces, but so look forward to reading it again from start to end- like every book of the Bible, there is much treasure within!

Making things happen

Ok, this is something I have been thinking around for quite a while now, not really spending too much time thinking on specifically, but just…. On the edges!

When do we wait for God to open the doors to make things happen… and when do we have to go ahead, get stuck into life and help things along??

Abraham and Sarah, for example. God made a promise to Abram, saying that his descendants would be more than the stars in the sky, yet they took things into their own hands, pre-empting God’s plans.

Ruth was very courageous as she put herself in the way of Boaz, which in turn was blessed.

When given the talents, the servants were given the opportunity to take initiative, and were praised accordingly.
I sometimes wonder if I am trying to pre-empt God’s plans. I see where God has made promises in my life, and they haven’t come to pass yet. Do I get courageous like Ruth did in different circumstances, or wait? Or do I take hold of the gifts and talents God has given me, and use them for his Glory? Often I think I am more than a little like the servant that hid his talent, thus squandering it out of fear. Scary thought, and yet…

So, much more to think on, but am glad God’s plans can be trusted, and that we can trust that God has given us tools to use for a reason, and we can use them wisely, but confidently, trusting God at work within each of us!

Fear

One friend has written today that she did the thing she feared most, and yes, it's still the most feared thing. Another friend has written today, 'do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear'. This weekend I have been thinking about things I fear, and the things that stop my from doing what I think I should be doing, or would just really enjoy doing (and on a side note- why DID I say yes to the thing I wanted to say no to, and no to the thing I wanted to say yes to? Glad I don't do that that often... and yet I wonder...., but that's an entirely different topic!).

So, in all this thinking and writing about fear... I, like my friends, I imagine, don't want to be stuck fearing whatever it is we fear... so turn once again to God's perspective.....

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18. It's such a great verse, and such a clear reminder- showing up the lies the are within fear.

Tonight at church too, we are going through Genesis, and were hearing about rainbows, and the covenant that rainbows represent- that God won't destroy us, he loves us, and has compassion. He has made promises to us and he won't break them, even though they may not look the way we want them too! Nice too that here there has been lots of rainbows recently!

God is good!

Becoming seperate

I have been thinking lately about people and relationships of their different sorts, whatever they may be, and how we impact each other, whether we think we do, or not. We don't often notice how much we influence each other, in positive or negative ways(and here, I am just talking about positive ways), and life is well, lived. It's when we are removed from them in some way, either by circumstances, changes of locations, or seasons finishing(like when you do a course together or something), that we can notice how much others have meant to you.

When I left Hong Kong, I knew I had been changed by that time there, because of the amazing people, the amount of time I had been there, and the life I had lived there, and coming back, I continue to remember that time, and hold on to the lessons learned. And as I continue to 'be here' I am seeing how people effect other people- especially living with a family with 3 little ones, and seeing the impact, both positive and negative of having someone else living in their family. I have been thinking about one friend, and looking reflecting on the good in it all, and being surprised again by how God uses people to highlight things, or bring about change. In this case it's something I never would have dreamt I might be able to do, and right now it's still not a reality, but it seems to fast becomming somethink I will indeed do... which is super scary, impossible and exciting at the same time!!

And as always, the Bible has something to say accordingly!! So, Proverbs 27: 17 says "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another", so I am left feeling so grateful for the people, past, present, future, whether friends for a reason, season or lifetime, what precious people they are!!

BBC World Challenge

A few years ago, when I was in Hong Kong, my friend told us all about this awesome idea! The BBC runs a competion each year aimed at encouraging and promoting projects that show innovation and enterprise at a grassroots level.

They are always interesting, and from amazing places throughout the world. The 12 finalists were announced this week, and we are each invited to vote for one, so follow the link here, and see what you think!! Many are on environmental issues this year, and really innovative ideas! I am fascinated by seeing countries where caring for the environment isn't an issue (survival is slightly higher in their prioty list!), so seeing these countries find innovative ways to reuse their resources in a way that benefits them AND the environment is pretty amazing!

Enjoy!

Book blog

A good friend has started a blog, posting book reviews! A number of people have been invited to join in, including myself, so feel free to visit some time. I posted on Persuasion, a book I read, as I had heard that a group of friends in HK had read it recently. I love Jane Austen, but hadn't read that before, and really enjoyed it!

When I was asked to blog though, I was a bit stuck because, aside from doing lots of uni work at the time, I was also in various stages of reading 3 different books! Anyway, Persuasion was finished first, and I am now onto another one completely- but will get back to the originals. The one I had origionally planned to blog on, was by one of my favorite authors, Henri Nouwen, a lovely author, Catholic, and Canadian. He has written a book called Clowning in Rome that I have been slowly reading (it's 4 talks in a book), so will hopefully blog on that one soon!

There are quite a few awesome books and people in the world!!!!

Highs and Lows

The last 24 hours has been one of extreme highs and lows... A guy I have been really good friends with proved himself someone I can't be friends with anymore, work was complicated, full of miscommunication, and layered with much that I was happy to try and avoid... and my car is at the mechanics, and about to cost more than the original cost of the car... and that's not getting onto some people, whose health isn't what it should be, or terrible accidents have happened.

I am so glad these days don't happen often, in fact, they are rare days. But they aren't fun when they do. I have so very much to give thanks for....I spent a gorgeous weekend with a good friend of mine, my sister is about to have another gorgeous baby, I live in a place that's beyond amazing, with some of the best people in the world, the most amazing friends, studying subjects that I trust will help for a long time to come... and a living relationship with Jesus who loves me, each one of us more than we can possibly imagine!

Colossians 3: 16-17

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

So, after a tough, tough day, it's great to look back, and look ahead with gratitude, and hope for the future:)

Don't like, Do like

I don’t like….

Conflict
Destruction
Brokenness
Arguments
Disagreements
Disunity
Stony Silence
Bitterness
Waiting…… to see how things land


I do like…

Love
Peace
Restoration
Forgiveness
Redemption
Wholeness
Contentment
Conversation
Unity
New Life
Growth
Connection
Community
Beauty

The list of likes keeps growing...

A beautiful short story!

Some gorgeous friends of mine have just finished a year at a Bible College in the States, and one had mentioned a writing competition he was going to take part in. I was looking for some encouragement, and reminded of the website of the Church, so went to see if anything new was there, and there is!!!!

So, while it's not my friends story, it is incredibly beautiful, so here I share it with you!

Enjoy!

Forgiveness

Without forgiveness we can never be free to try again. Without forgiveness we can never love another person for what that person is, and loving a person for what that person is and how for what we want that person to be is the only kind of love which allows us to live freely without the demands and expectations which cripple and isolate us. Forgiveness and love and inseparable. We cannot have one without the other. We cannot live in relationships with others unless we can forgive others and forgive ourselves.

Dorothy Rowe

I read this as I was researching this assignment, and was stuck by the clarity of it, and the importance of forgiveness, once again.... She's not a Christian by the looks of it, but wow!

Irrational beliefs

I was given some hand outs this week, as per usua, at college. One though, was a list of 10 Major Irrational Beliefs, as found by A Ellis.

I would post them here, but I don't think they are helpful on their own. Once I read them, and recognised many of them in myself, I was keen to, to see what you all though of these beliefs, but then realised that it might be more helpful to add a counter argument from the Bible. All of them, every one are real, and pervasive in life today, and yet, they are so clearly counter- argued in the Bible!

Anyway, thought I would share. I will probably do the counter arguments much the same as I am writing here... when I am supposed to be writing a very long assignment due next week....!!! Now... where to start....

Beautiful writing recently.

I haven’t been blogging much recently, but I have been doing a lot of reading. Lots! Anyway, I keep coming across gems of writing, so, while they won’t fit into the assignments I am writing, I thought I would share them here. Enjoy!!


Sometimes the suffering
Has no voice, it is silent.
It is a question of survival,
And the poor have no choice.

By Sister Naoko Iyari, MMB
In God’s Image 1990


Counseling is the process of helping clients get “unstuck” and develop a sense of direction. G Egan.


The ethical life arises as the life of liberty in service to God through Chris by the power of the Spirit. The Christian life is also the celebration of life, for as we live in the Spirit we celebrate the life of the triune God. Offering ourselves as a thanksgiving for God’s love and mercy lavished on us in Christ is the pathway to true joy and fullness of life.

This returns us to the human ethical quest where we began. I noted in chapter one that well-being and peace of mind have repeatedly formed the object of philosophers deliberations. The biblical writers declare that within the community of Christ we gain an even greater peace than the great ethical thinkers sought. Our Lord mediated to us peace with God (Rom 5:1), a peace “Which transcends all understanding”(Phil 4:7). This greater peace is not ours because we have sough after it, but because the Holy Spirit showers it upon us as a byproduct of our ethical quest, the quest for God’s kingdom and righteousness. Knowing such peace is the cause for great celebration. And it is in this context of celebration that we discover the fulfillment of Jesus’ promise for “all these things” are truly given to us as well (Mt 6:33).

The Moral Quest, by S Grenz

Soooo mad!!!!

I got mad today. Really really mad.

Really mad.

Two weeks ago I was crushed.

Today I am just plain mad.

What causes someone to mistreat another. What causes someone to think they can hurt and damage children, or people who are vulnerable, who care and want to help?

How dare someone hurt and mistreat another, and think it's ok. Not only does it damage that person, but if they don't deal with it, forgive, and let it go, it will fester in them, and grow, and in turn that hurt will go on to hurt others. Sometimes in self preservations, just because they don't know any different.

I know someone who was hurt years ago, and while I still see the amazingness, and beauty in this person, they have been damaged to the point where they hurt others, often because they are just so scared they don't know what else to do.

But who am I really mad at? Satan. I had the damage he wrecks on people, in relationships and lives. I hate how he sneaks in through depression and other slippery illnesses. I hate how he causes one person to hurt and malign another because of the sneaking voices he puts inside their head.

How do we, as Christians stand up to him? To the one who causes people to do such terrible things to each other..... how do we fight back in love? and completely baffle him? How do we challenge thinking that isn't God's way?

One day... I hope healing and wholeness will come.....

Process vs product in life choices

I was sitting at a market waiting for a friend last Saturday morning, and was a few minutes early, so sat down to read my book. However, a man came down and sat next to me and started up a conversation. Anyway, he had just moved to Sydney from Perth, and was doing contract work. In the course of conversation he told me about his life now as well as telling me about what he would like in life in the future.

It really got me thinking about plans and how we get there, keeping the now, and the future in delicate balance.....and not letting now be all there is, because there is the danger of still being in the now in ten years time, with all the hopes, dreams and plans still somewhere in the future... it made me think about the decisions I have made through my life, and where I am going.....

In the light of this conversation and thinking about this guy, I had another conversation with someone else about personal mission statements! I was struck and challenged by the thought of writing one(I am trying to work out what our work one is right now too!!) and what changes I might potentially have to make as a result. While so many things are good, and right, we can't do everything that looks good. How do we choose, and how do we know what God's plans are for us in life.... interesting random themes and conversations to think through. Hard too, when decisions made potentially have an effect on more than just us. I can't do everything, and be everything to everyone, so how do I choose....??

Sharing testimonies

I have been involved recently with a group, and we have been sharing our testimonies. It has been so encouraging to hear each person's story, of how they became a Christian, of how God has personally, specifically, radically worked in each person's life. I love it!

It was my turn this past Tuesday. I hadn't really thought about what I would share- it's your story of how you became a Christian, right? So it doesn't change, but grows!

So, it was immensely encouraging to me, to share it again, but so much has happened since the last time I thought about, or shared my testimony. It was also really encouraging to me, because someone left a voicemail message on my phone that I didn't get till just after I had shared my testimony, so it was awesome to hear it, in the light of having just been reminded of my what God has done, so amazingly, not only in my life, byt in the lives of so many others!

God is GOOD!

Some joy

I have spent quite a bit of time recently, thinking about Love in its various forms. But this post isn't about love. I have since gone on to reading an awesome book, called The Happy Intercessor, by Beni Johnson- it was brilliant, and while I have just finished it, I would love to read it again! It is about joy, and the power of joy in our lives, so, while I haven't quite left love behind(!), I have been thinking about joy more recently. I came across this poem a couple of nights ago, and how special it is. Enjoy!

LAUGHTER CAME FROM EVERY BRICK


Just these two words He spoke
changed my life,
"Enjoy Me."

What a burden I thought I was to carry -
a crucifix, as did He.

Love once said to me, "I know a song,
would you like to hear it?"

And laughter came from every brick in the street
and from every pore
in the sky.

After a night of prayer, He
changed my life when
He sang,

"Enjoy Me."

- Teresa of Avila

Life is....

A few weeks ago, an article was left in our pigeon hole at college. The topic being “Who’s life is it anyway?” It was referring to Paul’s comment- For me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain(Philippians 1:21).

The question posed to each of us though, was what would we say?
“To live is ___ and to die is ____”.
It’s been an interesting question to think through over the last few weeks, through the ups, down’s interesting twists and turns in each day…….! What would I put, what I like to put? What is there now, based on how I live my life now…..???

So, with Mother Theresa’s words…


Life is too precious

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.


I am not sure if I entirely agree with all of it, but it is a great start, would be interesting to add to the list of what life is…. And if so… what would I add?!?!

Not closing down after all!

In a radical turn of events, the organisation I mentioned in the previous post looks like it won't be closing down after all. The person running it has seen hope, and the possibilities for it to continue to run. People are coming alongside them to support them, and help in whatever way they can to continue to run, there's hope!

Thanks for praying- it's been amazing to see it unfolding, and connections being made at exactly the right time!

Organisation closing down

I wrote this article a few weeks ago... and today we found out that it's likely they will have to shut down!!!!

Please be praying for them, and for amazing miracles as they find the best answers to their situation. It's an awesome group that does amazing work with the people in the area, and it would be really sad if they did shut down!! Not only does it help people who are living in poverty, many have become Christians, and... they make the most beautiful things!

Thanks heaps!!

Easter Greetings

I don’t normally write cards for people at Easter, but this year, I did- well, one anyway. But the verse that came to mind for it was…..James 1:17

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

I love that picture of God, and the amazingness of the gifts he gives! Anyway, it came back around to bite me, rather this evening… I was getting really discouraged by things where some might see the events as great, and others see them as anything but- and being in the middle trying to bridge the gap- then remembered this verse! And, remembered that if it is indeed a good and perfect gift, it does come own from the Father of Heavenly lights- and no, he doesn’t change!!

The other verse that came to mind really clearly, that blessed me immensely on Good Friday, was the phrase… for the joy set before him endured the cross…

From Hebrews 12: 2

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

What an incredibly awesomely, amazingly wonderful God we have!!!

Feet like the deer...

I came across the following verse on Monday morning when I got to work, and it's been such an encouraging, sustaining verse!!

So, Habbakuk 3:19.....

The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.
For the director of music. On my stringed instruments.

But... check out the whole chapter! Pretty awesome stuff!! Also, super wonderful, yet super challenging too... Revelation 21: 1-8. Oh, for that wonderful water of life!:)

On integrity

I was doing some reading for college this evening, and this was in one of my textbooks, so thought I would share..!

Myself

I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know,
I want to be able, as days go by
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t wan to stand, with the setting sun,
And hate myself for the things I have done.

I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself, as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of a man I really am;
I don’t want to dress up myself in a sham.

I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men’s respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and pelf
I want to be able to like myself.
I don’t want to look at myself and know
That I’m bluster and bluff and empty show

Can never hide myself from me;
I can see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know.I never can for myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

Edgar Guest

5 smooth stones

When I came back to Sydney, I felt like there were five big areas of my life that needed to be sorted out. Four now have been done, but the fifth... I feel like I keep digging down to the bottom of the bag to get it out, and each time I do, it has someone else's name on it, so I need to give it to them.... well, in actual fact, looking back, I feel like I have had this bag far longer than I realised, and I have been pulling out this stone and passing it on to other people all this time.

Fortunately, it's a beautiful stone, so it's a joy to be able to pass it on, but...one day, it would be lovely to get the stone out with my name on it...:)

One Year on tomorrow

It is amazing to me that a year ago, tomorrow, I moved away from Hong Kong. It still seems surreal that it happened, and as I look back over the year, I see God so clearly at work in it all.

It is another moment of being so grateful for what has been, and what is to come. I am so glad that God knows best, even though, most of the time I don't understand... and sooo look forward to what is to come!

Thank you for being part of this journey!

Ethical superstore and inhumane slums...One World

So, I discovered just how behind the times we are in Australia compared to other countries- though, yes, other countries leave an awful lot to be desired, but more about that later.

I was doing some research on fair trade organizations today, and looking at different ranges of products that are available, and came across a website in the UK- the Ethical SUPERSTORE! Can you believe it! And the range of things on the site is amazing!!

I have, however, found a website too for “Green” beer in Australia, where they give back 100% offset, which is apparently the latest thing, and a good thing at that.

On the other hand, I was talking to someone in the Philippines the other day about environmental issues, and their attitudes there. For them, survival is more the key, so things like where you put your rubbish really doesn’t feature in their priority list. Environmental awareness is becoming more popular amongst the wealthier parts though. For the regular person though, it’s normal to drop your rubbish wherever you put it, because they have never been taught any differently, fuel isn’t as refined as in other countries, so the fumes, and smoke are more dense, the struggle to survive is more important, people live on rubbish dumps, slums are common, and food is hard to come by.

As attitudes and awareness continue to change around the world, I look forward to seeing what comes of it all, as we all work out what part we have to play. Hopefully, as in soooooo many areas of need, our eyes will continue to be opened to how we can each help from where we are at.

Article for work...

Well, I have just written an article for work, so thought I would share it with you for your thoughts, should you choose to share! Obviously, I have been more clear as to the names of people and organisations, but aside from it, this is it for now! See what you think... Oh, it's a monthy newsletter that will be emailed to suppliers of fair trade product around Australia.

Dear Friends,

Welcome to a new chapter of ETP! As we have continued to grow and share with you about the organizations that we partner with create the beautiful items that are part of the ETP range, we are thrilled to be able to embark on a new chapter. We have come to see the importance of sharing stories, and so, once a month, will have a special focus on sharing stories with you of the organizations we all work with around the world. Our heart is to bring to you an insight into their daily life, their joys, needs and ways in which connections can be made. Buying any one of the products in the ETP range truly will help those around the world in need in a practical, and life giving way!

So it is with great joy that we bring you our first newsletter. We greatly welcome any news and feedback as we seek to share.

Many of you will be familiar with the beautiful papers and soaps of VH, and organization based in the Philippines that seeks to teach useful skills and give employment to those living in poverty in The Philippines. Mike, has partnered with people in the Philippines, to teach and equip them as they create beautiful soaps and stationery to sell around the world. All the profits and proceeds of the sale of each item go directly back into the local community (Mike and the team that work alongside the Filipinos are all volunteers). In a country where those starting companies will do whatever it takes to get ahead, VH is unique in the community, as they pay each person a fair wage that is salaried- not per item, or hourly. This brings great stability and security to the team and their families as they then know when they will be paid, and can plan ahead.

How are YOU helping VH??

C&S Products have recently designed a new range of soaps, and stationary for VH to produce. As a result, Mike found he needed to employ new people to assist with the production of the products.

One of the employees had a friend whose daughter was sick. She was taken to the hospital, whereupon her parents were told she would likely die, or if she lived, would be in a vegetative state for the rest of her life(this is a fairly common result of malnutrition). They were all told there was nothing to be done but pray. The parents could not pay for the hospital, so VH paid the medical fees. After about 3 weeks, she returned home, which was about the time the order from C&S arrived. Mike and the team saw the need for more employees, so invited the mother to join the team- thus enabling this family, including 7 children to have a regular means of income!

The family has joined in the local community, and the older children come to work to help out and walk home with their mother in the afternoon. As a result the lives of 9 people has been turned around, and they have a wonderful hope for the future- as a result of the love outworked in action.

And the little girl who was going to die? She is now a happy, healthy lively 4 year old nicknamed ‘Beautiful”, who often comes to visit the team of 18 at VH!!

So, thank you for your heart to help those around the world who are in need, you make a difference in each of their lives!

Keep an eye out for the wonderful new ranges of soap and stationary from VH, and we look forward to hearing from you! We encourage you to share the stories you hear with the people who purchase the ETP products, and love to hear your feedback of how we can better assist you!

Bill Johnson

I have had the privelege and joy of finally hearing Bill Johnson speaking in person this weekend. He is somene I have heard of for some years now by close friends around the world, and while I now have his books, and have been listening to his talks online for well over a year now, it was wonderful to see him, and his wife, in person!

So, it will take a while to process what I have seen and heard- not to mention seeing God heal soo many people of physical afflictions (some that had effected people for years!), it will take a while to assimilate it all into my thinking here in Australia. While it was known and familiar, it's all teaching and events that happen 'somewhere else', not here. And what will it mean for me, in my walk as a Christian.. is it for a weekend, or is it as Bill says- it is God given to ALL his people, and we are all equiped to go and do likewise. We were all put to 'work' praying for each other, asking God to speak into, and touch people's lives, and that's exactly what God did, through each of us...

What are some of the things I will take away from this weekend? I stress some..:)

I have recently been reminded of the amazing gifts God has given me, and have met people who I just want to pass it all onto, who have never received anything like these gifts before- things like knowing how much God loves each of us, for starters! We were reminded in one of the talks that we can only pass on what we ahve been given, so it was new encouragement, despite being discouraged, to keep passing on what I have been given as much as I can.

And we were all prayed for at the end, especially for supernatural courage. So I have it. I have no reason not to live it and walk it.... right?? So, will continue to choose supernatural courage each step of each day, and see what God does in it all!

A book of Joy

I have discovered I love anthologies, books that are compilations of short stories, excerpts, paintings, photos, poetry, scripture.

I was at my grandmother's place on the weekend, and borrowed some of her books, including an anthology called "The book of Joy". Yup, the title did indeed catch my attention, so I have been skimming it.

One poem that stood out is the following by Christina Rosetti, called "Waiting"

Somewhere or other there must surely be

The face not seen, the voice not heard,

The heart tht not yet- never yet- ah me!

Made answer to my word:

Somewhere or other, may be near or far;

Past land and sea, clean out of sight:

Beyond the wandering moon, beyond the star

That tracks her night by night:

Somewhere or other, may be far or near;

With just a wall, a hedge, between;

With just the last leaves of the dying year

Fall'n on a turf grown green.

Christina Rossetti

The Prince's Progress, 1866