I have been living and working in this part of the world for five years today. I remember vividly, the person who came to collect me from the airport, the people I ate my first dinner with, where I had come from, the tour I first took. Of all the years I have been here, this was the one that I most wanted someone to remember and note... and it hasn't been. The funny thing though, is that I have never really wanted to celebrate this anniversary, and I could never work out why. It has been remembered and marked, but I have always wanted to downplay it, and not make a big deal of it, so why does this one matter so much...
Perhaps it's because there won't be another one, perhaps because, for the second time since I have been here, I have said no to something... What if we were all only remembered for what we haven't done, for what's lacking, for not living up to expectations. Perhaps, because I have said no, it feels like I have failed, that I have been selfish, or unreasonable, and I wonder if I will be remembered for that alone, that in the end, the last 5 years doesn't count for more than that...
None of us will ever do enough, be enough, give enough, love enough, live up to who we should be, or be doing, and I see again and again how true that is in me, yet, am so, so grateful for the truths we can all build our lives around. And, I am so encouraged when I do feel like I am being selfish and unreasonable for saying no occasionally, that I can bring it to God, and he will sort it out, that he hasn't asked us for perfection, or to be everything to everyone.
2 Corinthians 12:9 says....
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
And I will give thanks for these five years, for the amazing people, work, friends, awesome times, awesome growth, and, I trust much more of all of it to come, wherever I am! I have loved these years and all they have held and will continue to call them awesome:)
2 comments:
Happy anniversary Miwa!
If it makes you feel any better, I don't think anyone has ever in 6years mentioned my anniversary - I don't think it's even in the diary!
They always remember Matt's though of course! I never quite got the exciting significance of the HK anniversary anyway...
Hehe:) Thanks ads!
Yeah, these anniversary's are a funny one, and, I think, effect us all differently too, at different times! Well, I am very grateful for your 6 years!:) Thank you!:)
Post a Comment