Blank sheet of paper

There’s a blissful feeling of a blank sheet of paper, whether with lines to write on, or completely blank to do what you like. I started off with a blank sheet of paper and over the course of a couple of days, it’s now full. And the issues I have wanted to untangle are now laid out and dealt with (I believe!!).  It’s been a gift, albeit a painful one, to have been brought in a full circle and back to a place to deal with things I thought had been long since dealt with, in a whole new way, from new perspectives, understandings and in light of all I have learned since the last time I was ‘here’.

In a day where the seeming perfection of other people’s lives, as shown through facebook, instagram, and others, it can often highlight the imperfection in my own, and so many areas where things just go pear shaped.  There are days when it feels like it would be easier to write myself off, but that’s not really God’s way, is it. He takes all of us, for all of who we are, loves all of us, has a redeemed way of seeing all of us, even if we’re not quite there yet.

Some churches, communities, or families at times seem to say we are only as good as our last mistakes, saying that we need perfection, and that means getting everything right, all the time and having everything in our life together. But God wants relationship, community, grace, connection, with Him and with others. And in that, there’s space for experiments, creativity, emotion, mistakes, love, and endless possibilities.

So, while the event issues are dealt with, and the core issues better understood and recognized, it's nice to be better able to live 'here' and not then. I look forward to exercising lessons learned, putting myself into places that foster all the things I want to see, and see God in all of it in a whole new way this year.