Counting fish, faith and seeing the sun rise

Am reading a blog post about a group of women reading John 21, of the disciples gone fishing, Jesus coming to find them and invite them into the new journey. 

"We'll, there's the fact He asks us to trust him when it feels like we've been in a long night and caught nothing and we will trust Him, do what he says, when he asks the unconventional of us: 'Throw your net on the right side of the boat"....  (Ann Voskamp)

She notices they have counted the fish, counted the blessings, seen and lived out hope and faith in the one who has given all. Even when there was no reason to continue.

I was reading James 1 yesterday like it was the first time- all of it- no sub headings. What if we carried faith like that- above and beyond the 'natural', seen, reasonable to believe for. What if we carried God's word in such a way that we got through the long night to the dawn of the next day and all it holds. Seems impossible and often relentless, but am so glad for the pockets of refreshment, and restoration, and just enough encouragement to carry on. We are gifted with glimpses of what is to come even if it is above and beyond your wildest expectations of what God might want to do in and through you, for you, or task you to go out and do.

 But. What might be risked, and possible in God's revelation and abundance.......???? 

Whatever and whenever, it's going to be worth the wait!

James 1

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.

12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.

19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Saying stuff

I saw my nieces on the weekend- and the meeting place, was the toiletries section of their local woolworths, of all places, which meant there was me and 3 gorgeous little girls in a heap of cuddles on the floor! 

You can't do that with too many people! There were plenty of hugs, kisses, 'I Love you's', 'you're awesome', and so on. 

I was thinking about how I talk to the kids in my life, compared to the adult people in my life. So often it seems you have to filter it through what's appropriate to say, safe to say, because they might have a different perspective. Friends, even close friends or best friends can still be a chasm apart from where family, a husband or wife might be in your relationship. And perhaps that's why being single can feel so isolated- there isn't anyone you can be completely free with in your positive affection.

So often it feels that to love, and express love requires a response as a result, or is giving power to the other, which may or may not be a good thing, depending on what they do with it. We are so used to giving, or receiving love that is conditional, or laden with expectation, and there aren't too many times when it is truly given freely. Often I withhold out of fear, and wonder how often others withhold from me. 

Too often it all feels like a poker game. Don't give or reveal anything, don't show your cards, play to win at all costs, at the expense of the others playing. The person who holds out the longest holds onto the most. And the one to share their true feelings ends up with egg on their face.

And for others it can be the journey of learning to love freely, unconditionally, with no expectation of return- unless the other chooses to, and wants to journey with the other in this way. It's a scary, awesome wonder to behold, when you step into that place of trust, not knowing where it will lead, but step by step, the leap of faith into the unknown- beyond the fear of being vulnerable- in that journey of walking together in life.

The Bible says that perfect love casts out all fear, that we are called to love The Lord our God and love our neighbours as ourselves. It's counter cultural, and and makes me go wow every time I see or experience it happening....because its always then that I realise how incredibly rare and precious it is, and oh, so worth fighting for, no matter what!!

Dreams

I recently started writing a list of things I would love to do. One day. There are so many things I enjoy doing, or would like to do. There are things I simply can’t make happen, or need other specific people to come along to help bring a dream to a reality, and while I would love to do everything Right Now, it’s simply not possible. It’s taken a while to settle into that, and another while to learn what to say yes, or no to, or not right now, while leaving space for God to have His way in my life, in and through me, and His promises.

There can be such a tension between what is good, and what is right, because it’s all great stuff, but that doesn’t make it the right thing for me to do right now, which can be a real struggle, when some things are ‘seen’ to be more worthwhile, or others deem worthy.

I do a job now which gives security, while enabling me to work with people I love, gives an international feel and flavor to life, in a group of people who wouldn’t normally come into contact with Christians. At the same time, it’s not the busiest job I have had in the world, but it enables me the headspace to do all sorts of crazy things outside of work. And there’s a lot of fun crazy things, which makes life interesting and diverse, and I’m really enjoying it.

It often makes me wonder though about what is a good thing for me to be doing, and what’s the right thing, and agreeing to do something, based on what I know now, vs information that might become available at the very next corner, or conversation.

I have a hunch that we all have a vision, mandate, or invocation. I love what Bob Goff says about it….. ‘Make all of the things you believe your invocation and all of the things you do about it your benediction’.

As we live life faithfully, even if we can’t articulate our mandate of living, it seems that if we are faithful with the little things, and obedient to God’s call on our life, even if it doesn’t make sense, it seems to come clear.

And while I can’t live out every single one of my dreams here and now, all at once, it seems that they grow, and in their time they will happen, and will find an opportunity and place within God’s plan. So, I can keep the list, look back at the cool things that have indeed happened, and look forward to what is to come.

When Jesus is your Lord; nothing is secular, everything is sacred (Nicky Gumbel). We can walk in wonder at all God has for us, giving it all back, for it’s all sacred decisions and sacred living.

Inheritance

It’s funny how the present life, actions and relationships can reflect something of God’s heart for his relationship with us. I was part of a conversation, talking about inheritances, and family. People were talking about jewelry that was in their family, that they know will remain within the family for the long term. It is an inheritance, and they can’t have it now for the most part, but know that it will come to them and their siblings in good time. Later on we were all talking about God and his original vision and plan for us, that of being His children, loved, having everything He created under his authority. As someone who’s family isn’t as well off as those I was surrounded by, or at least having come from a different economic perspective, it’s something I don’t have much experience of in the ‘natural’, and so often understanding it to any kind of depth in light of God and all he sees me to be, and has done for me comes as a constant exercise, of often knowing it in my head, but not in my heart of hearts. Which is a pain, because it’s a lie to live in any less that all God says we are and has made us all to be. And it’s pretty awesome, to see ourselves and each other through our Heavenly Father’s eyes

Waking up in the night I was thinking about it again, and was reminded of the verse saying that we have a new birth into a living hope- an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade….. and is both now, and in Heaven. 1 Peter 1..

1 Peter 1:3-9

Praise to God for a Living Hope

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

We all have a living hope, an inheritance now and in heaven, it’s ours to live in now. Pretty awesome, really!