Saying stuff

I saw my nieces on the weekend- and the meeting place, was the toiletries section of their local woolworths, of all places, which meant there was me and 3 gorgeous little girls in a heap of cuddles on the floor! 

You can't do that with too many people! There were plenty of hugs, kisses, 'I Love you's', 'you're awesome', and so on. 

I was thinking about how I talk to the kids in my life, compared to the adult people in my life. So often it seems you have to filter it through what's appropriate to say, safe to say, because they might have a different perspective. Friends, even close friends or best friends can still be a chasm apart from where family, a husband or wife might be in your relationship. And perhaps that's why being single can feel so isolated- there isn't anyone you can be completely free with in your positive affection.

So often it feels that to love, and express love requires a response as a result, or is giving power to the other, which may or may not be a good thing, depending on what they do with it. We are so used to giving, or receiving love that is conditional, or laden with expectation, and there aren't too many times when it is truly given freely. Often I withhold out of fear, and wonder how often others withhold from me. 

Too often it all feels like a poker game. Don't give or reveal anything, don't show your cards, play to win at all costs, at the expense of the others playing. The person who holds out the longest holds onto the most. And the one to share their true feelings ends up with egg on their face.

And for others it can be the journey of learning to love freely, unconditionally, with no expectation of return- unless the other chooses to, and wants to journey with the other in this way. It's a scary, awesome wonder to behold, when you step into that place of trust, not knowing where it will lead, but step by step, the leap of faith into the unknown- beyond the fear of being vulnerable- in that journey of walking together in life.

The Bible says that perfect love casts out all fear, that we are called to love The Lord our God and love our neighbours as ourselves. It's counter cultural, and and makes me go wow every time I see or experience it happening....because its always then that I realise how incredibly rare and precious it is, and oh, so worth fighting for, no matter what!!