Creation and creating

I am currently sitting in an art gallery in NYC, surrounded by familiar paintings. Not just one or two, and not copies either. Originals. Many. By artists and creators who lived some, or hundreds of years ago. Isn't it extraordinary?! There are so many that you can't help but walk on by and generally taking them in as you go, but there are others that you know, so you stop by, and still others that surprise you and stop you in your tracks. The wonder of a view, or perspective of a scene, person, moment in the life of someone or a family, whether on a grandly extravagant scale, or an intimate moment.

What causes us to create or want to create, using whatever format we choose. Whether music, art, design, write, or any medium we choose. What causes us to choose to create when there is so much already out there in the world? Some of it will, I grant you, reach a wider population, whereas others won't go beyond the person doing the creating. But what an extraordinary thing. Like each person, what we create will come from our own perspective and life experience. Some may be similar, but isn't it amazing that we have been designed to create. Our creator is the ultimate in creative, and as we are made in his image, we are invited into the creative process, in whatever means speaks best to us.

Another blog I read at the moment talks about the process of writing. She speaks that desire to write and encourages us all to stay beyond the desire to write/create into the action. No more excuses or what- ifs. Just go for it. There are always going to be people better, smarter, more articulate than us, but no one who has our own particular perspective and blend of skill or talent. We will need to work on it, and keep going, but that doesn't mean we don't start at all, because then the answer will always be no. And that is a loss to all of us, in the seen or unseen. We all lose something when we don't share what we have inside. And we all have something special and valuable to share.

Values and relationships

I read the first chapter to Don Miller's new book, Scary Close- a silly thing because, well, I only have the first chapter and really would like to read the rest. Now.

He mentions how he relates with people and how his then fiancé related to them, and wow, what a breath of fresh air. Her relationships are one she works on, invests in, fights for. They are not a negotiable to her in their importance and value, and they know it and respond accordingly. In a year where I have struggled to communicate where I am at, have had relationships change, been ranted at, but not allowed to have a conversation, I have had to ask a lot of questions about myself and of the people I am around. How does one live a life of trust and deep relationships, of connections and value for who we all are. How do we seek to understand each other's perspective? I realised recently with one friend, that I have believed what they have said, but am still looking to trust them, because their actions are different to their words. And where is the responsibility for me to trust others? What are my parameters and boundaries. And what is theirs? And what if I need to just take the leap and trust? But what if too, they are just untrustworthy? Is my desire for relationship with certain people misplaced and it's time to take a good hard look at who is actually trustworthy, or the relationships I should actually invest in? Or take a leap and trust them and see what you learn in the process. I am not good at letting go though, and those relationships that are long and deep are so important to me.

I can choose who I am, and how I will choose to treat others, and myself. They are valuable, and so am I, and none of that changes whether they have different expectations of our relationship than I. But I have a choice then too. I want to fight for them, but that takes a mutual choice to work towards a common goal and value.

I can still be me though, and live out my values as well as I can though, and remember that relationship, of whatever kind, is a choice between two or more people, and trust them with their part.

Grief, loss and intimacy

Today, or actually, in USA time, a quite few weeks ago now, was a a day of remembering pregnancy loss in all it's forms. So overnight it popped up in social medial in various ways. One lovely blog writing spoke of her experience with loss, the knife cutting pain, and the long term recovery. It got me to thinking of the losses experienced by single people (I will stick to women, well, me, cos I have no idea how men experience this).

As a single woman approaching a certain milestone, this year has been one of recognising and grieving loss, or what hasn't been. It has been a time of taking stock, and giving thanks, but also that underlying awareness of what may not be that has been so hoped for.

I look at so many amazing women, and yes, men who are single, and amazing in their own rights and wonder why they are single, and haven't had the opportunity to get married yet. When God is a God of family and relationship, intimacy, how is it that these amazing people are not married. Is it just that we are a part of a fallen world and this particular aspect has effected us? How do we navigate a world where we can do and be anything, but that a foundational longing for many if us is to be known and in relationship. How do we journey a road where often there are no answers, or the answers that are given just don't cut it. They don't come from a creator, our loving Father who has designed us from the start to be connected, to live in intimacy with each other.and if we don't fit society's standard format of being in family,being married, how do we find lasting relationship, depth and intimacy within a community?

Coming back to the day of remembering pregnancy loss, how does it work for single people who haven't got a pregnancy loss to grieve? How does one grieve any unseen losses in ones life? The events, situations, relationships hoped for that haven't had the opportunity to be nurtured and grown?

I guess we get creative!:) and find community, deep relationship, friendships with children and their families that give us the connections needed. We keep our eyes open and choose our outlook, and trust and trust and trust that we have been designed to be part of community and not isolated, and go out and find that where we can!

Hello again

It's been a while. A long, long while since I last blogged. Funny how things come and go in seasons, people come and go, and come back again, there are times for writing in certain places, or being, living, times and spaces to pick up or put down. Some, you choose and some you don't. And there are the constants. I am in Bend, Oregon right now. It's a spectacular day, it's bone chillingly freezing, and I am in a nice warm organic cafe where it didn't need to pay for my coffee. Lovely surprise! Why no blogging? My energy has been elsewhere. Managing the constants, the changes, the place I am in, and the direction I am going. Writing and communicating has taken place in other places. So will see if I get back here. I have missed it, and yes, have written blogs, etc.... Just haven't posted. So perhaps I will come back and post them, or perhaps their time has passed.

For now though I am on a Jesus adventure across the States. I am starting to miss my people, but know that even if I was in Sydney, I would still be missing some of them, even though they are geographically close. So I will sit with the missing, the discomfort that I should be there 'doing' and being useful, and will be on this adventure. Because it's a gift, Jesus loves me, and has good things for me. My new journal is filling up fast:) and there have been lots of fun things happening, and there are many fun things to come:)

The planning of this trip was fun. There was lots of research and hunting for information. Looking for musicians and speakers on tour, conferences to go to, places and churches I would like to spend time in. It has been lovely to see everything fall into place, the timing, accommodation, flights. The big details are sorted, but there are so many unknowns on the way, space to fill, and people to meet.  Lots to hear, and learn. Even so far, it's amazing to see some themes starting to emerge in different ways. But more on that another time. Portland here I come:)