Choosing and change

I have been slowly reading the book, Keep your love on, by Danny Silk. It’s rich, challenging and I am enjoying the challenge of taking it in, and learning to live it out. It’s about saying that we are powerful people, we have been created to live in relationship, in love, with authority. We can choose how we can live and love others. I am constantly challenged by it, to learn to live with that paradigm.

“A powerful person’s choice to love will stand, no matter what the other person does or says. When a powerful person says, “I love you”, there’s nothing that can stop them. Their love is not dependent on being loved in return.” Danny Silk.

So, with power comes freedom, and both come with the challenge to use them well, and wisely. We all have it, it’s just how we see it, and how we choose to use it.

So, my birthday approaches, and the end of the year approaches, and with both comes change. I started thinking about it a few weeks ago.  Over the past few months some interesting conversations have happened, along with events, random opportunities and yup, not much sense in all of it. Last week though, it all seemed to come crashing down. Other people’s issues, decisions, or lack thereof crowding in on the decisions I have been thinking through and trying to make. From one beautiful friend, who decides some things by not deciding, and lands in a big powerless mess, to other events unfolding and the need to step up into new responsibility by default. There was a point last week, when other people’s lives, decisions and issues were more than I could cope with and I was almost to the point of giving up on some of the things that I had started to think about.

But, life goes on, and still things continue to unfold, and out of that some new perspectives are starting to glimmer, and maybe, just maybe, there is a much, much bigger plan unfolding, even though I don’t think I am strong enough, maybe God has indeed given me all I need, and maybe God really is for me too, and there is hope, a plan and a future.

And I have a choice. I can choose not to choose, thereby handing over the power and authority given to me to others, and have a choice that’s mine to make alone, made by others. Or maybe there is still room to choose, to seek God in it all, and while I don’t know, or understand so much, I can still sit at His feet, keep talking to people, keep my eyes open to His grace.

Or maybe this, all of this, the big, little, related and unrelated are part of something much, much bigger, and I can partner with God in it all and see what is in store next. I can engage with the process of this journey, seek the deep connections and relationships, even when it hurts, can engage with God as much as I can, to sit with him, love him, thank him, oh, thank him.

It is hard, painful, joyful, surprizing, stretching, but I know God is so good, he loves us so well, and I am so excited to see what’s coming. I choose God. Choose connection, choose love. It’s going to be amazing, because God is Good:)