I don't often talk about what I want, whether it's where to go for coffee, where to sit, what movie to go to. Most of the time I really, really don't mind, and I know that's fine, but there comes a time when you have to choose, and stand by your choice. In making a stand though, I am finding you learn a lot about the people around you, sometimes good, and sometimes you learn something new about them, your relationship and how they see you. You also learn about yourself- what you are ok with and what you're really not, and whether or not you're willing to settle for less than what could be.
This year is involving a lot of learning, strengthening and growth. My birthday present to Jesus keeps popping up in different ways, and I am finding I am doing things I thought I would never do. Like saying no to a certain type of relationship with others offered in lieu of one I know could be, of making the effort to not just think something is important, but to say and act on it, even when it doesn't sit comfortably with me, or is a massive emotional, or physical effort. It comes to a question of 'do I wish to believe Gods word in and for my life, and for others?' Or shall I believe and therefore live a lie?
I am learning more about what it is to be loved, and loved by my heavenly Dad, and finding that it encompasses a whole lot more, of choosing to believe it, of living a life of value and worth, in personal choices, like how I spend my time, but also how I love others. There is more form and definition, and less being blown about by the whims of others. It proves challenging when there are people making choices that you heartily disagree with or don't understand, but also a realisation of what's yours and what's not. There's the pain of having to choose to say no to an immediate offer, because you know it's only a snippet of what could be and would rather have nothing than mediocrity. In that place, we can do what we can within all that is our responsibility, and pray. Hard. And often. Trusting that God knows how everything is fitting together and where we are all headed. We are loved, and called to love. And neither of those is words only, they are action, and a call for choice, of seeing the destination and walking towards that, trusting that God will do as he has promised and 'work all things for his good'
I read a blog this week that reminded me of all that has been going on. Don Miller writes that 'A good character in a good story knows what they want'. We have one story and many subplots, but wow, wouldn't it be awesome if all the elements tell a story of Gods awesome love and value for all of us, that each of our lives have a multiplication effect as we say 'you are valued', 'I am valued', and live that out in our everyday lives, cheering each other on in all that we do.
Valuing others can be hard at times, and involve hard, honest conversations, but if done well, we all come out knowing we are valued enough to be fought for, we are worth the discomfort of a hard conversation, and we have a deeper and richer relationship as a result.
Here's an excerpt from the blog:
"If we don’t know what we want, or where we are going, the story is boring. And worse, the protagonist makes terrible decisions.
If I offered you a penthouse condo in New York City worth millions and stipulated that in order to claim it you had to drive across the country, would you be tempted by the offer of a run-down shack in the midwest? The only way you’d be tempted by that is if I hadn’t offered you the condo.
When we don’t know where we are headed in life, we are vulnerable to temptation.
"A good character in a good story knows what he or she wants.""
Don Miller
As in the story, I don't want to find I have chosen the shack over the penthouse, and want to keep my destination in mind, I don't want to settle for mediocrity, but live a rich life full of depth and value. One that is full of love and of worth, in words and action.
