Lost

There are days when I just wonder what God is doing, and what all the pointers mean. In some areas, they are really clear, and in others... well they are clear as mud and I just have no idea what's going on... I see God working and moving so clearly in situations, and then at other times in the same situation, it seems completely contradictory to what's happened previously! Very very confusing! So will keep praying and see how it all unfolds. Prayer and patience, I guess would be the key, but I am sooo looking forward to seeing God moving and some conclusions and answers- especially when it's so exciting to see God working and his incredible plans!

On the other hand, I have just had a most amazing evening... went to see Cats in Macau- an amazing evening and gift, with some awesome friends. It has changed heaps since the last time I was there nearly 5 years ago! And Cats was awesome! I had never seen it, but knew all the music, and while I was expecting it to be good, I still enjoyed it heaps more than I thought I would! Nice to be so wonderfully surprised like that!

An amazing thought!

It just occurred to me though... I will be judged, I will always be found wanting, no matter how much I have done, or been, have given, or should be doing. I will know again who my friends are.

But in the end it's not their judgment that matters in the end, no matter how much I care! I know what God would have me do, I have heard his still small voice, and I guess I had better get on do what I know I am supposed to be doing, no matter how hard it is.

Hard, so hard, but freeing at the same time...:)

Going uphill

Last week, I strongly encouraged a friend to complete a job well, well, as well as they could under the circumstances, and though I know it was a tricky one, they did brilliantly.

Now faced with pretty much the same job, I am completely daunted. Faced with other people's opinions and values, attitudes, and they think is ok to talk about, I am just not sure. I am trying so hard to do things in the right order, to make sure everything is ticked off and accounted for, but I can't account for other people and what they are going to do and think. It frustrates me that we are so prone to judge others and situations and act accordingly, often without taking the time to properly understand the person or situation, which makes me even more protective of what I say and who I say it to, and I get to the point where I don't know if I am being discreet, or straight out lying for the sake of doing things the right way.

I knew it would be a challenge, but right now, I feel like I am at the bottom of Mount Everest about to climb, and I don't even have a support team, or equipment here yet!

Farewells

Today has been a day of farewells, talking about farewells, preparing for farewells, and well, the good, bad and the ugly of farewells!

I do need to say first of all, that in this particular context, there is no particular situation of today that I am particularly highlighting! They just all seemed to converge!

One phrase came to mind though in a meeting today… that well known saying, "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." -- Kahlil Gibran. I was struck by that again today, in the context of letting go, and being let go. The picture that came to mind is of us needing to be open handed in all we receive, not just of things, but of people who are part of our lives, at work, and as friends. God gives, and God takes away, yet our heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name.

In all of it though, I was so encouraged by Isaiah 55 tonight, especially verse 12, and hope it is that way for the people I was talking to today.

You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.

Amy Charmichael

I was catching the bus into the city tonight, and realized I hadn't read any Amy Charmichael in Months!! What was I thinking!

Anyway, I started reading through it backwards, starting from today's date, so share a few gens from 2 dates. I didn't get too far tonight..!

Col3:12 (Way) Array yourselves, then, as God's chosen ones, His consecrated and dearly loved ones, in a heart of sympathy, in kindness, in lowliness, in gentleness, in tireless patience.

The bond that Holds God's children together is love, just love. One unkind deed, one unkind word, one thought even that moves towards unkindness, is fatal to the quality of love we must have if His love is to be in us. It is not a little thing to love like this. Lord, evermore give us this love.


Ephesians 4:2-3 Forbearing one another in love; endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Be earnest to maintain the unity of which the Spirit is the Author, linked together by the chain of God's peace.

Where was I last Sunday..?

Playing Christmas carols on Kazoo's with a group of lovely clowns!

the real MaCoy

I learned a new song the other day, about Jesus being the real thing, called.. The Real Thing, by Mark Nam and Tom Read... it was a slightly well, familiar kinda song, but at the same time, it was also really on the mark in terms of where it seems people are. We were talking about it later on, and realized then, and later again, that while there wasn't too much to it, it was also very true. We only have to look around to see people are looking, and searching for something to give our lives sense and meaning... and in a nut shell, Jesus is the Real Thing!

I was reminded later of some of my friends who I never tire of talking with. I so value their conversations as being real, and while we don't always agree, these guys are some of a few who I really enjoy real conversations with.

Thinking again about Christmas, I was struck again, by how real it was. The events were glorious and holy, but they met the people where they were at. The events used the basic things that were around those people. It was sooo complicated, all this random unconnected events that God used in perfect orchestration to bring everything together all at just the right time, to bring about the birth of Jesus, and the start of the days of God being with us in person. How amazing!

I think that I am still working out how to be real, genuine, to be me, to be God's daughter, and live out each day with those things in mind. Most of the time at the moment, I am not quite sure which is the official "me" or the real "me", and what's the difference anyway. There is so much going on right now, and not too much of it is shareable, but where does it stop... I so want to be open and honest, but and while it happens, there is sooo much that just seems to have to stay inside most of the time (and there are the times when I can't seem to keep a lid on it..). I know I don't get it right, and this week I really haven't as I have tried to walk clearly and specifically in God's presence, and got tied up in other things, and unsureness and uncertainty of the right way to go and act in each situation.... day by day, I guess..!

Preparing for Christmas #3

The other morning I woke up still thinking about Christmas and all the events surrounding it and was struck by something else. We have sooooo many perspectives on how Jesus’ birth! We have hundreds of prophesies telling of his coming throughout the generations preceding his arrival. There is the lead up, Mary, Elizbaeth, Joseph, Angels, Wise men keeping an eye out, two different gospels sharing the story, world events, you name it, but all were playing a part in bringing all the events together, in exactly the right time, place and situation that we can look back. We have a double blessing too, as we read back through the bible telling of the account of Jesus’ birth. While, yes, it was a hugely important event, we can see just how perfectly God out everything in place that would bring glory back to him. I love that the bible spends so much time looking at all the different and amazing details that go to make this such an extraordinary event! What amazing love and care he had then and now, for the people who were there, and since then, that we can look back on the events and celebrate the birth of Jesus, and praise God for his perfect timing. He can do it then, and still does now, and we can see how he does it each of our lives now! What an amazing God we have!

Preparing for Christmas #2

Just went to a wonderful Christmas concert with the most beautiful music!

I love Christmas music, especially the kind that is actually about Jesus (rather than snow, Santa and the like), and we had a feast of it tonight! The words are so simple, the music so perfectly lends itself to praise, the atmosphere so often makes me wonder at the awesome job the Angels had to do that night! So, while I definitely couldn’t choose a favourite, here’s an oldie, but a goodie. Check out these awesome words!:)

O little town of Bethlehem
How still we see thee lie
Above thy deep and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by
Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting Light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight

For Christ is born of Mary
And gathered all above
While mortals sleep, the angels keep
Their watch of wondering love
O morning stars together
Proclaim the holy birth
And praises sing to God the King
And Peace to men on earth

How silently, how silently
The wondrous gift is given!
So God imparts to human hearts
The blessings of His heaven.
No ear may his His coming,
But in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive him still,
The dear Christ enters in.

O holy Child of Bethlehem
Descend to us, we pray
Cast out our sin and enter in
Be born to us today
We hear the Christmas angels
The great glad tidings tell
O come to us, abide with us
Our Lord Emmanuel

We finished off the evening there with Mulled wine and minced pies which definitely added to the night, not to mention the society magazine with a beautiful double page photo of some of my colleagues representing what we do! They’re awesome, and I am so proud of them!

Preparing for Christmas

You know when you have so much to say that you just can't say any of it? that's about how it is right now... Funny, frustrating, exciting, random, good, strange days that we have!

Anyway, tonight we were talking about Christmas, and were challenged to think of one thing that has really made Christmas special to us.

Now, I have grown up looking forward to Christmas, I always loved it, the end of the school yeah, Christmas concerts, Festival of the nine lessons, Carols, etc. I was thinking back over the memories again, and a few things stuck out to me.

I love the simplicity of Christmas, the celebration of Jesus' birthday, not just of God with us, but God, coming in and dwelling in amongst his people, not in pomp and splendor (though, yes it was splendid!), but it was simple, quiet, in a tiny town, with God's people close by, people quiet in the still of night looking after their sheep and doing what they should be doing. God comes and meets his people where they are at, so much so, that much of the time, they don't even recognize him!

I also love the picture of the Angels, of the whole thing being of joy and praising God, of giving thanks to him and who he is, and celebrating something all people can celebrate- the birth of a precious baby!

We can so easily get sick Christmas, but I tend to think that that's our loss.. it's stolen from us! There is so much to be blessed by in remembering and celebrating this time, so hope in these weeks, we all see something new and fresh in this birthday!

Love, God's way

I was pondering a few things throughout the day, and thinking particular about some of the things I have been re-learning over the last few weeks, and a line from this sonnet by Shakespeare came to mind. No, I don’t read and memorize sonnets, but it was in a movie I remembered. Anyway, I was reminded of the line ‘it is an ever fixed mark’ and was struck by it again in the context of God, and his love for us. There are so many things that are uncertain in this world but not this. It doesn’t change or alter, shrink, or is dependent on variables and conditions. It is never shaken, wanders, betrays, or impedes, but is indeed an ever fixed mark in which we can trust! How awesome!

SONNET 116

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Faith and Deeds

Last Sunday John was preaching on James 2, and Faith and Deeds.
It's quite something to live by faith, AND deeds at the same time. We can believe certain things, yet not act on them, and vice versa.

We went back to the stories of Abraham and Rahab- and they were in some pretty terrifying positions! I wish I had their poise, grace and sense of peace in far less terrifying situations. I guess that's what comes of hearing, and seeing God at work. You have no choice (well.. you do, but who wants the alternative!) but to go out in action and deeds, in faith, sure of all He has said and his word into all He has promised. And he loves, promises and gives much to each of us!

It's tricky too when at times it seems that faith is accentuated over deeds in terms of importance, or vice versa. The worst situation would be when in words they are both encouraged, but in action one is encouraged over another. It also reminded me too, that God speaks to each of us. I have been re-learning to listen to that still small voice, and while I know I get it wrong so often, or it seems He is silent, or there are moments of absolute beauty and peace in knowing and recognising Him in situations. Can you imagine not though, and not being able to, or being told you aren't able to!?? That would be truly tragic, to have access, but being able to walk through into God's presence in the way that he has made possible through Jesus??

So I guess, it's a step by step, walking in God's presence quietly listening and stepping gently through each day and seeing what new and lovely things God brings.

December 5 2001

ok, so after a revealing week- what do I need to know that I wouldn't
already about getting from here to Hong Kong for ideally 1+
years???????????

Just a little tiny question.........:)

cya, MAria


I have been thinking about how long I have been in Hong Kong, which brought to mind how I came to be here. I went back through some emails, and found that I still had it... the email I sent to a friend the day I woke up knowing so clearly that I was coming here! I had gone to bed the night before wondering why I couldn't hear enough about this place, yet KNOWING there was NO way I could ever come here!!!! Amazing! So, 6 years on here I still am, and look at the amazing things God has done, and the incredible ways God speaks to each of us so clearly! What an awesome God we have!!!

Those mistakes...

John had received alot of comments about those 12 mistakes he had mentioned, so followed on today, including adding the original article so include it here.

John also picked up on two of the mistakes and shared a little on them, one being the comparison between sending out short term people, as opposed to long term people. He says that while both are fine, we, the western church, tends to have the mindset of sending out more short termers, rather than expecting people to be called out long term.

For me, it's something I have been pondering for some time now. What's the difference.. what causes some people to turn 'short term' into long term, and vice versa. What causes people who might have been called out long term, to only stay for a while. I have often wondered how many people God has spoken to about going but 'things' have happened along the way to cause them not to go... bad experiences, and the like. I would sooo love to look more at all those aspects that stop us from going out, and see how we could all support each other better, and encourage each other along the road to where ever God would have each of us.. wherever that would be!!

Manna...

It's funny when God gives us 'food' that we are meant to share... it's for someone specific, or a group of people, or a general 'morsel' that we can share around, because it has spoken to us and blessed us recently..

I have had the situation recently when it seemed that I was given something to pass on. I wanted to pass it on right away, but for whatever reason, I didn't seem to have the right moment or chance, then it was just such a cool thing, I wanted to write it down, make sure I had it right, do it justice.. you name it.

Anyway, a moment came up a couple of days later when I was able to pass it on, and I tried hard to capture all the aspects of what I had, but I know I still missed bits. I don't know what it meant to the person, and it really isn't any of my business in a way, but I hope I got it right for her sake. I guess though, I don't know what was happening with her and looking back would have tried harder to pass it on earlier and not worries about the rest.

It brought to mind the story of the Manna in the desert(Exodus 16). The Israelites were given enough for each day, not extra days worth(because it would go off quickly!), their daily bread. It brought to mind that the Bible is our daily bread, that what God shares with us, and speaks to each of us is to be taken in daily, read and lived out. Some of it is for just us, and others is a feast to be shared around. I am not sure if that explains the gist of it, but I realized that I don't want to hold onto something that isn't meant for me, and have this Good Food spoiled by holding onto it for too long.....