Tuesday, December 04, 2012

The five love languages

I have a good friend who has been reading the 5 Love Languages recently. She hadn't really heard of them until, and was reading the book, before passing on the relevant bits to her boyfriend (who wasn't likely to read the whole book!). Anyway, in the course of a few weeks, we had some great chats about it, past experiences and what did and didn't work. Doing the questionairre with her, I started thinking about where I was at with it all. The last time I did it, I was in a very different place, different life, situation, and surrounded by very different (immediate) people.

As I thought about that, I realised that while one of the love love languages was far and away the one that most resonated with me, my views on all the others had changed. Some of that being because I have changed, and others are because circumstances and the availability of one or more of the love languages has changed.

You can do the test online, so I had another go to see how it had all changed, and changed it had. Not hugely, because quality time is still far and away the winner, but the rest were more balanced out, which reflected where I think I am at with them all.

They're all important, and all show love, in the giving and receiving. But the other four don't really mean much to me without the quality time already established, and yet when the quality time is established and maintained, the others mean a great deal. And even that looks different depending on the people I spend time with, and how often I have the opportunity to spend the time with them. But to me the best love language is knowing others well and deeply, and equally being known.

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