Silent vs silence

I was reminded tonight of why I started a blog in the first place.... in some circumstances, times, with certain people and contexts, I have absolutely nothing to say, and am, to all extents, completely silent. It may not be because I have nothing to say- far from it, but because of whatever is happening, I have absolutely no desire to share!


As a person though, who is far more comfortable being silent and listening to others, it's always an interesting situation when I suddenly find myself in a place where I am the one doing all the speaking... and communicating, though. Of being the one listened to. One such examle of recent times has been in interviews (eugh!). It's funny being on the other side of the silence barrier, and wondering what on earth the silence means. Sometimes it's a comfortable silence, and other times it's really not. And at other times again- I just can't 'read' the silence. Most of all though, it makes me wonder what people think of the times when I am silent, or just listening.

That said though, it was an interesting weekend last weekend, when I spent 4 days with 2 different groups of people, almost completely unknown to me.... and I had almost completely lost my voice, and was therefore forced into silence..!:)

Human nature and counselling

Well, I am technically well and truly into semester and all that it involves! There have been hiccups, but in all, the biggest problem already is the lack of time, and I just don't know where to start in terms of reading the books I currently have, so I can at least try to make a start on the HUGE assignments that are due just around the corner!

But for now, here's something I read in " The biblical basis of Christian Counselling for people helpers" the other day.

Human being are not hollow on the inside, empty selves who hide behind masks and have no purpose for living or no hope for the future except decomposition after death. Instead, we are created in God's image, valuable to Him despite our sinfulness, and challenged to be pure and holy. We can bring honor to God, even in the way we eat, drink, work, or engage in other of our daily activities, including counseling. At death, though out bodies return to dust, each of us has a spirit soul that continues to live and eventually will be reunited with our resurrected bodies. For believers there is promise of an eternity with Christ, where there are none of the tears we see in our counseling rooms.

Gary Collins Phd (In terms of the tears...Maria adds-0r anywhere else for that matter!:))

How cool is that! I love the reminder that we are indeed valuable to God in all our brokeness, and that no matter what our lives look like now, we have the promise of eternity with Christ. What an amazing gift for each of us, and gift we can pass on to others in all we do, say and are!

Leading by example..

On Sunday at church, the person speaking was sharing about various things, but one thing that was talked about was love. Specifically 1 John 4:19, which says 'we love because he first loved us.'

It reminded me again, of when I became a christian, and how I was taught by the overwhelming and daily example of others, and seeing them love Jesus, and love each other as a result. Through them, I learned about who Jesus really is, and came to know him properly for myself.

It got me thinking about how we all learn best, how children learn through the example of their parents, and those around them, especially when it's stuff that parents don't want their children to pick up..:)

But what happens when people, whoever they are aren't loved first (yes, I know God does love all of us), aren't cared for in a way they understand, who aren't shown the difference between right and wrong.... who is going to come in and show them love, care, joy, compassion, thoughtfullness, grace if someone doesn't first show them to us. How would we know how it feels if we don't have the opportunity to experience it ourselves...? We can hear about it from others, read it in books and the Bible, but till we experience it ourselves...

Something to continue to think about...:)

Friends and 'Friends'

I have been thinking a bit about some of the friends I have, and how contexts and circumstances bring different things to light. With the revolution of Facebook and facebook friends, I have been really struck again by Facebook friends I have, vs actual friends(beit on facebook, or in person!). Sometimes I feel like I observe people's lives from the outside, and know about them, and what they are up to, but when I see them in person... I suddently think... are we friends, or just virtual friends? Do I know them enough to go up and say hi... or.... not??

I was reading one of my textbooks for college about the biblical basis for counselling, and we were reminded that... it is important, too, to recognize that knowing ABOUT God is not the same as KNOWING God...! It's an interesting comparison to make, and in the case of God, a personal relationship can't be fakes, assumed, or glossed over. We each need to know him ourselves!

We all need to be in relationship with each other, not in our own little virtual zone of the world, but sometimes it can become a false sense of security against the potential fears of getting out there, and knowing others, and being known.. much more fun than the virtual replica:)

The first class

I started college last week, and, after one class... it's going to be a very interesting semester...!!The first was theology and counselling foundations.. looking at theology and how counselling slots in with God. Quite a challenging topic, and quite something to suddenly be talking Theology, philosophy, rthodoxy, exgesis and the like..!!

We were given a couple of helpful quotes to help us all get our heads around us. I like the one by Kevin Vanhoozer...

Christian theology is the intellectual, imaginative, and spiritual attempt to discover the truth about God, the world, and ourselves, to appropriate this truth to ourselves, and to bring the Word of God to bear on all areas of life, thereby rendering God's Word in speech, thought and life back to God to the glory of God.

Quite a mouthful, but I like the implications.. that we take what we learn, and live it out.

Now, for me to take in all that is taught in this class... and 2 others... and live it out, write it out, and get it out in the exams...!!

Blogging

I have been missing a few people in the blogging world of late. I have a lovely list of blogs I love to visit, to 'hear' their thoughts, or pray for them, or whatever. Anyways, a number of them have stopped this year, or just gone silent, which has been sad, because I have missed them!

On the other hand though.. there are times when I blog, or don't blog, and was thinking about some of the reasons when I don't blog... often because I don't have anything to say, or because I have soooo much to say, that I just don't know where to start!!

This week has been one of those ones though, when there has been so much to say, think through, re-assess, and re-choose to walk in... God has, and is so good in it all, and I am so glad to know he has the answers, and I just need to continue to listen out for that still small voice, and trust that he knows what's going on.

We were reminded of the story of Job this week, and that while Job didn't know what was going on, and his friends tried to make sense of it, in the end, and as it was from the very begginning, it was God, and Satan who knew what had caused it, and God who knew where it would go!!

And yes, while I miss my blogging friends, I am sure they have their reasons, and probably have so much to say they don't know where to start- I also found found a good friend who has just started blogging, and had a great chat with a new friend, who reads and follows a good friend of mine's blog (though, she only vaguely knows her), but gets great joy from following their lives and seeing the amazing things that are happening:)

Next week!

Well, I am completely stoked about next week! I will be starting college properly, with the most amazing subjects! I can't wait to get stuck into it! And... the rest of the week will be full of work! One of the things I had been thinking through as I settled back here, was what I really loved about the work in HK. Now, I loved the work, all of it! I loved what I did, the people (still do:)), and all the rest of it. I loved the vision.

But what did I personally, Miwa love? Well, lots of it too, but there were some things that I would really have loved to be involved with if I had the choice! And one of the would have been in fair trade!

Anyway, looks like I will be getting into fair trade goods in a whole other way in the coming weeks! More to come, but am looking forward to it all! God is good, faithful, keeps his promises, and comes through each and every time. I am still astounded that I have been led thus far, and so clearly, yet he's not going to stop now:)

A little tiny bit discouraged...:(

Life seems to be one long excuse to account for other people's behaviour at the moment. I am currently looking for a job, and trying to catch up with people, while trying to maintain friendships with people in other parts of the world. At the moment though, it seems like I am making one excuse for people after another as to why it all seems to go in one direction, why I am trying to go out of my way... yet not getting any responses.

I can understand that in terms of looking for work, that's just the way it is, yet, in friendships... what should be expected? When is it reasonable to expect friends to reply to emails, texts, letters, questions? When is it reasonable to expect friends to initiate conversations, and communications, to want to see me too?

It seems that my life is based solely on how other people operate, on their method of communication, timing, that they don't need to apolagise, yet I seem to so often find myself in a situation where it seems that's it's expected that I am in the wrong, and therefore need to say sorry.

I feel bad now, because I am starting to get busy again, I am about to start college, and really do need a job NOW and while there is no deadline for me leaving now... it would be nice if I could still catch up with people now that I am in the country.

All I am saying? I miss my friends, both the ones in this country and others. I want to see them and hang out, but at the other time, and I know there are many valid reasons why this can't happen for some, at this particular moment... it would be nice if they wanted to see me too...!

Logical vs Illogical

I had been thinking a bit recently about making decisions and the different ways we do that. Listening to a talk the other day, the person speaking was saying that people of the Jesus' culture didn't actually think logically, as we do, rather they think optically.

I was listening to another talk today, and they said a similar thing! I need to listen to it again, but was so encouraged by it. We often thing of different things that are happening, and there are different responses we can make- we can kick and scream and say 'it's not fair', or we can knuckle down, and draw deep on God's love and promises and hold fast to them, our assurance that God is in control, and loves us, delights in each of us, in a way that's beyond our wildest imagination. Depending on the situation, of course, too!

I was thinking about a decision I thought I had made some time ago. It was clear and 'there'. Then I came back to Aus, and the cold hard light of logic and reality set in, and as always(it seems!), I wavered, yet, after this last week, I wonder if I am once again back where I started, and returning to that decision and the reason why I made it in the first place.. well... that hasn't changed at all. It's just not a very logical decision, yet that doesn't mean that it's not right..! And I guess, even in wavering, it gives me a chance to really be sure... even if I do end up looking a little silly as I wander along!

Grief

I was thinking about grief today, and some of the forms it can sneak up on a person when they aren’t aware of it. Yes, you can tally the facts and figures, the things that one would normally grieve about, but the actual process of grieving, while you can do a general step by step of the stages of grieving, you don’t actually know when the next steps will come. Sometimes they will come in different orders, or just sneak up and catch you when you are least expecting it.
I was thinking about some things that have happened over the past few months, that I have known about, or known of, that have caused me to grieve for different reasons, people I love who have died, or been sick, the grief of leaving, and seeing people grieving for others. It’s been an interesting thing to see what has that kind of an effect on someone- some hit you at the time, whereas, at other times the grief has snuck up on me unawares.
And having to be strong for people around you when you would really much rather collapse in a heap and cry.
I guess we all have different roles to play in these situations, and will always have to find our way through. Sometimes it just seems easier to shut down and not think about it, but it always seems to come out in the end… so the question is, how to get it out in a reasonable way…. It struck me tonight too, that knowing more about the grief process doesn’t actually make you immune to it… just more clearly aware..!

Changing locations...

A lovely friend reminded me again, that it has been some time since I was in HK, and perhaps my blog should reflect that I am now residing in Aus... so, consider it noted, actioned and complete, even down to my blog- I now am in Aus:)

And to prove it.. here's some pics from the last few days. They aren't so great because they were taken on my phone, but there you go:)

The beautiful harbour.. and weather.. and bridge!

Just a few of the people at Aroma- the coffee, chocolate, tea, spice festival that happened at the Rocks on Sunday

Out for a walk around the bay...:)

Molly(the black one) and Pebble's (the brown one) wondering why I am taking so long and why aren't we walking....!!!

The Aussie fighting spirit

Dear Australians,

Where has the great Australian Fighting spirit gone???? I am an Australian, who has returned to the Great South Land after 5 ½ years overseas. I have returned though to find a nation of people who are bombarded daily, wherever they look, with news of doom and gloom, of rising petrol prices, food prices and housing prices. Everywhere I have looked, it’s seems, we are being bombarded with negative news and how bad life is getting here. Pick a topic, any topic, and yes, something bad is happening.

And what’s more- the Australians seem to be believing it! As I look around, people seem to be shutting down, stepping away, and protecting themselves again unwanted dangers, perceived, or real, dangers. People are looking out more for themselves and their families and giving less time to working in community with their neighbours and friends. I look around and see countless people with varying degrees of depression, anxiety, and panic.

I say, stand up and fight! We have a beautiful nation, full of amazing people, we have seen times of hardship and challenge in the past, yet in my generation, life has been so good to us! Life is rich and good, and we are more blessed than at any other time, yet, we seem to be facing the battle of our collective lives the battle within!

Just imagine… waking up, each morning singing, or even thinking “oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day, I have a wonderful feeling, everything’s going my way!” (From the Rogers and Hammerstein musical, Oklahoma” Can you just imagine, just a little bit what that might feel like… really and honestly?? I know it might seem tacky at first…. But really… how wonderful would that be!


And as Christians, we have the ultimate Hope, we can put our faith in the One on whom the world is built on, the solid Rock, the great I AM. We have nothing to fear, nothing to hide from, but can go to our Heavenly Father who loves us beyond our wildest imagination! He came, that we would have life to the full, remember?!

Let’s recognize the lies for what they are. Let’s remember, and walk in the truth, or at least head in that direction!

Phone a friend...

I have discovered, in a new way, that I really don't like calling people! I would much rather email them, or write a letter! It's not that I don't LIKE talking to them... I just don't like the idea of interrupting them, or they may not be there, and then there is the question of when is a good time to call someone..

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I no longer have that many phone numbers of people in Sydney, as I left a few vital things behind in HK..namely my list of names and phone numbers (what few I had!), so for whatever reason... there is email!

I much prefer seeing people in person though, when comparing the phone and face to face, though, yes, phone does work when it's the only option!

The downside of email to, is that while it is less intrusive, it's also likely for people to not reply, for whatever reason, or they just aren't on the computer as much as I can tend to be....

Oh well, one of the joys and delights of being back in Sydney..!:)

Life, rich, satisfying, enjoyed, abundant!

I woke up the other night with this verse on the brain...

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10.

I love the simplicity and clarity of the second section- Jesus is so clear when he says this.. I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full. I checked out a few other versions, and love that in all of the versions, the thief's plan is the same.. to steal, kill and destroy, yet... God's is much more lavish, rich, wonderful than that. How often we forget, or settle for less, well at least I do. It's easy to get bogged down in all the things that are constantly in front of us and lose sight of the bigger picture. And soo lovely to be reminded once again of how God loves each of us, and to be reminded of HIS purpose for each of us! So, may you know the rich, lavish, life to the full, in a new way this week!


10The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it [a]overflows). (Amplified)

The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. (New Living Translation)

A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of. (The Message)

Awesome quote from Breakfast at Tiffany's!

I was watching Breakfastat Tiffany's this afternoon- it's one that's so famous, and well known though, that you can often miss the reason WHY it is such a well known, and good movie!

A quote really struck me at the end though this time, and really made me think about all the situations today where we can get caught in this trap, of trying to be free, and in the process, creating our own super strong cage!

This is Paul Varjak, speaking to Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn).

YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, MISS WHOEVER-YOU-ARE? YOU'RE CHICKEN. YOU GOT NO GUTS. YOU'RE AFRAID TO SAY,"O.K., LIFE'S A FACT." PEOPLE DO FALL IN LOVE. PEOPLE DO BELONG TO EACH OTHER, BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY CHANCE ANYBODY'S GOT FOR REAL HAPPINESS. YOU CALL YOURSELF A FREE SPIRIT, A WILD THING. YOU'RE TERRIFIED SOMEBODY'S GOING TO STICK YOU IN A CAGE. WELL, BABY, YOU'RE ALREADY IN THAT CAGE. YOU BUILT IT YOURSELF. AND IT'S NOT BOUNDED BY TULIP, TEXAS, OR SOMALILAND. IT'S WHEREVER YOU GO. BECAUSE NO MATTER WHERE YOU RUN, YOU JUST END UP RUNNING INTO YOURSELF.

Sticky Date pear cake with caramel nut topping

Well, I have been doing some baking, but finally remembered to make something new, AND take a photo of it, so here goes! Delicious!!

Sticky Date pear cake with caramel nut topping

180g dates, diced
1/2 cup boiling water
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp orange zest
125g butter
220g (1cup) sugar
1 egg
½ tsp vanilla extract
225g plain flour
2 pears peeled, cored and diced.


Topping
130g brown sugar
60 g butter
50 g rolled oats
50g mixed nuts chopped
45 ml (2tbs plus 1 tsp) milk


Combine dates, water, baking soda and zest and stand for 1 hour to allow dated to soften. Heat oven to 170c. Grease and line a 23cm square cake tin. Beat butter and sugar will creamy. Add egg and beat well. Stir in date mixture, vanilla, flour and pears until evenly combined. Spread mixture in tin and bake till just set, 25-30 minutes.

To make the topping, place all ingredients in a small pot and stir over low-moderated heat till dissolved and bubbling. Quickly spoon over cake and bake for another 15 minutes or till risen, golden and toasted.

Best served warm from the oven, with cream!
Serves 12

That moment...

There comes a moment... that is undefined, but it seems that it just can't be avoided... when you return to a place that is known and familiar, it's normal and on the surface.. nothing seems to have changed... however.....

Yesterday I had a great day out with a friend who has also returned from Asia, after living there for 4 years. We were catching up on being away, but also comparing notes of the good and and the challenging of returning home. We were also bringing each other up to date or information that might be helpful to each other... useful information, websites, things that had changed, road rules- where we can and can't drive, and where we need those funky E toll things to drive, or where we need to pre pay for the public transport.... we might look Australian.. but there is quite alot, we have found that isn't clear to us... let alone for people who speak a different language, or haven't grown up here. We have changed, and our friends and families have changed too.

Anyway, all the conversation should have alerted me to the fact that I was more aware of it all, because, lo and behold the moment arrived... it's a time that you can't define, or predict, but the moment is unmistakeable. I don't know how one can avoid it, or if it's just something that a person has to go through when you return to a known, familiar place after a long absense.

Things have changed, rules have altered, relationships have changed or a different because of different circumstances, things are technically the same, but there are minor things that just take a person off guard, or shock, hurt, or baffle you, or maybe we just react differently because we are taken off guard, or are just trying to find our way, knowing that we, and the situations around us have changed.

On the up side- and there are far more ups than downs- it's awesome to know we are where we should be where, and have loved seeing the way God has been moving in our lives in so many ways.

So, in it all, while we can plan and expect reverse culture shock as we return to any known and familiar place after a long absense.. there are still times and moments when it takes us unawares..! And I know too, that I will keep making mistakes, both big and little, but am glad grace continues to abound, and trust that it does in my little neck of the woods here too!

When I grow up......

I want to be.....

a clown doctor
a baker for a cafe (ed- of cakes, biscuts and treats!)
a barista
a counsellor
a joy giver
a buddy for youth who need a friend and someone to support them
someone who cheers people on (I would say a cheerleader.. but not quite that..!)
a traveller
a prayer warrior
someone who sees God clearly, dramatically, hugely, miraculously at work in my life and the life of those around me..!

I am job hunting at the moment now that I am back in Sydney... looking for the perfect job that will fit in around life, and the perfect course(that I have!)..... good thing it's a no brainer for God!:)


edited... I think this list could and will grow....:)

In person

I had a wonderful day today with my sister, her husband and two children (and my brother too)! Having just returned to Sydney after a very long absence, I have only just met my younger niece who is now over 9 months old, so there is alot of catching up to do!!

I was holding her at one stage during the afternoon and stopped at one point in wonder of that moment. It can't happen long distance, over a skype call, or regular phone call. I haven't been able to see her in a normal context and really got to know her properly myself till now, and even then, I am just at the beginning. Albeit, I have heard loads about her, her gorgeous charm, personality, smiles, who she looks and acts like, how different she is to her sister.... but the stories and recommendations, even the baby talk, and giggles on the phone have not been the same as person to person contact.. of "being there", on hand and in person.

Many thoughts came together as I enjoyed this moment today- of people I like to see, in person who are spread around the world, of people I would like to support better- yet can't be in the same place as them for whatever reason, and then brought to mind a conversation I had recently of what our relationship should be with God. The jist was that we should be glorifying God in all we do, or celebrating him....but isn't our relationship with God too, about being there, in person, of being relationship, inviting Him in and giving our daily lives to him, in the big and the little- that it's not "out there" and and abstract concept, but tangible and lived in a relating way, like other significant people who we want, and choose to spend time with, in person...

So, for now, I will enjoy spending proper time with my nieces, and other friends and family in Sydney- I so wish I could hang out with everyone "now" and not have any other responsibilities... some time..!:)

Each bite of the apple...

Well the day has come, and I have arrived! I have much to say, yet am rather at a loss for words. I have many things to buy, and places to go yet no money; Many people I am dying to see, yet I don't know where to start... many jobs to do, but would rather see my friends, so, much to do, yet I don't know where to start!

I am in Sydney, with no ticket anywhere else, and huge stack of things to get through and don't know where to start... so I will listen to good music and reply to emails... till I go out tonight with a friend who is about to leave...

An update will come out soon and I am sure things will happen at the right time, but till then, looking forward to catching up with everyone in this beautiful freezing city:) Feel free to help me bite each bit of the apple, one bit at a time, and I am sure I will get there eventually:)

Travel plans!

Well, I was planning to send out a newsletter from London with my future plans... but I was suddenly lost for words and the whole thing was just too big in the tiny bit if time left!

So, in a nutshell.... I fly to Brisbane to spend the week with my Grandmother, then we both fly down to Sydney next Thursday. She will be there for a holiday, and I will be there to live!

More news to come, but that's it so far!

Thomas Merton

As I get to the end of my time here in London, I have been thinking back over some of the things I have done. One of those things was to attend a Besom Conference, on how to start a Besom in your own area. We were all given a Besom- a type of broom, make of small branches tied together- the concept being to sweep away the suffering. You can check out what Besom does here. Attached to the Besom, was a quote by Thomas Merton. It has stuck in the back of my mind as I have pondered it over the last few months, so I share it with you now.

"What is my new desert? The name of it is compassion. There is no wilderness so terrible, so beautiful, so arid and so fruitful as the wilderness of compassion. It is the only desert that shall truly flourish like the lily. It shall become a pool, it shall bud forth and blossom and rejoice with joy. It is in the desert of compassion that the thirsty land turns into springs of water, that the poor possess all things."

I have been hunting around to see what else he has written, and found the following, so share them with you now. Enjoy!

"Persons are not known by intellect alone, not by principles alone, but only by love. It is when we love the other, the enemy, that we obtain from God the key to an understanding of who he is, and who we are. It is only this realization that can open to us the real nature of our duty, and of right action. To shut out the person and to refuse to consider him as a person, as an other self, we resort to the impersonal "law" and to abstract "nature." That is to say we block off the reality of the other, we cut the intercommunication of our nature and his nature, and we consider only our own nature with its rights, its claims, it demands. And we justify the evil we do to our brother because he is no longer a brother, he is merely an adversary, an accused. To restore communication, to see our oneness of nature with him, and to respect his personal rights and his integrity, his worthiness of love, we have to see ourselves as similarly accused along with him ... and needing, with him, the ineffable gift of grace and mercy to be saved. Then, instead of pushing him down, trying to climb out by using his head as a stepping-stone for ourselves, we help ourselves to rise by helping him to rise. For when we extend our hand to the enemy who is sinking in the abyss, God reaches out to both of us, for it is He first of all who extends our hand to the enemy. It is He who "saves himself" in the enemy, who makes use of us to recover the lost groat which is His image in our enemy."

"Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. That is not our business and, in fact, it is nobody's business. What we are asked to do is to love, and this love itself will render both ourselves and our neighbors worthy if anything can."

And finally a challenging thought for you all....

The biggest human temptation is … to settle for too little.

"Dear friend, understand this. Nobody has an effective healing ministry without love. As Paul says, what really matters is faith expressing itself in love. If we love people we feel for them in their needs and are prepared to turn to God for answers. Our faith may not always match the need, but spurred on by love we seek the Lord for more of His love, faith, power, and authority in our lives."

Colin Urquhart

Reversing reverse culture shock

Last week I was at a conference, which was just awesome. I may tell you more about it, but for now, it needs to sink in a bit. One evening though, I ended up having an awesome meal with about 5-6 other people. We had all lived overseas serving in some capacity (some had come to England especially for the conference before returning!). We have a rich conversation about reverse culture shock, and the process by which one returns home and settles back in. I was really interested.. because of the job I had done, because I am smack bang in the middle of returning home, and because I am really interested in learning more about how to support people as they come and go from overseas.

On fact that really shocked us, was that 40% of returning missionaries suffer from depression! That’s terrible! It was great talking through some of the things that can help or hinder the process of leaving and returning home, such as finding people to talk to who understand, our feelings of failure, or completion, or being, or feeling judged. It was awesome too, to hear about courses that are run for people who are going, and even returning home (I had never heard of that before!), as well as new books that are out.

There is also a new bible available which has an emphasis on God’s heart for the poor- how great is that! Check out an article on it HERE.

Monday night cooking...

Yesterday afternoon, I spent some time looking for something to make, finding the right one, going to the shops, to make it. It was a new one that I hadn't tried, and I was on desert. Sound familiar? Maybe not, but it just took my breath away when I realised what, exactly I was doing...!

You see, Monday night in HK is cooking night, where I cook a main, or desert, depending on whose turn it is, and while I miss my time in HK in general, this was a different kind of missing!

So, what was cooked? A birthday cake for Samuel, who is currently somewhere in South Africa, but we decided to celebrate anyway! A new recipe, chocolate walnut cake, from one of my favorite blogs, dead easy, and hasn't really lasted long:)

I don't know how possible it is, but will try and keep testing out new recipes each week- will see how it goes:)

Momento Mori

Momento Mori

Sweet day, so cool, so calm, so bright-
The bridal of the earth and sky-
The dew shall weep thy fall to-night,
For though must die.
Sweet rose, whose hue, angry and brave,
Bids the rash gazer wipe his eye,
Thy root is ever in its grave,
And thou must die.

Sweet spring, full of sweet days and roses,
A box where sweets compacted lie,
My music shows ye have your closes,
And all must die.

Only a sweet and virtuous soul
Like seasoned timber never gives,
But, though the whose world turn to coal,
Then chiefly lives.


Robert Herrick 1591-1674

The Kingdom

I went to Wales for the long weekend a few weeks ago, and had a glorious time! One of the many, many wonderful things about it was rediscovering poetry in some books there. I couldn't resist writing a few of them out, so hope to share a few with you here. This one is from a book of collected poems by R.S. Thomas, a Christian poet, who wrote an enormous amount. The other book I found, was called " A book of verse for boys"! So it was full of war, hero's, vision, and and glory. I may share some of them later, but for now, enjoy:)

The Kingdom

It’s a long way off but inside it

there are quite different things going on:
Festivals at which the poor man
Is kind and the consumptive is
Healed: mirrors in which the blind look
At themselves and love looks at them
Back: and industry is for mending
The bent bones and the minds fractured
By life. It’s a long way off, but to get
There takes no time and admission
Is free, if you will purge yourself
Of desire, and present yourself with
Your need only and the simple offering
Of your faith, green as a leaf.

I have been thinking more about what I wrote in my last post, and think I may have misrepresented the topic a little. Well, I cirtainly didn't go into how much I don't like seeing the end results, or seeing people being recognised for the part they play in a project/person's life/event either directly, or indirectly. I didn't go into the fact that the building that I saw, were indeed built over decades, and some even over a hundred years, so of course, the people involved didn't expect to see them finished (though I wonder how they dealt with changing technology, and fashions- but then, yes, things did move slower than they do now!)

Anyway, overall, it was wonderful to look at those buildings and see the perspective that the people involved would have had. They were building in faith, knowing they were part of something much bigger than themselves. I am sure they would have loved to see the end result, as I really would, but they knew they wouldn't, but it didn't stop them from sowing into the lives of the generations to come in such an amazing way. Ahh, to have the grace and patience to see things through in such a way:)

Smaller than the big picture

During my time in Italy and the UK, I have seen a lot of churches! Especially in Italy for a week, we walked through many churches, heard monks singing Gregorian chants, sat and watched, saw a mummified nun, admired the architecture of the different churches of different ages. Amazing. Last week, I went with a Cantonese friend to Westminster Abbey, and that was an experience in itself! It was amazing!! I had never really bothered about going in there before, and am so glad to have had the opportunity to see it finally. I was amazed at how huge it was, but also how much was in there. For a place that is so important and used for so many big events, I was impressed that it hadn’t been completely cleared out!

So yes, in Westminster, there was the graves, or memorials of such people like Queen Elizabeth, and Queen Mary, Charles II, John and Charles Wesley, Isaac Watts, Jane Austen, Jeffrey Chaucer- the list goes on!

The thing that has really, really struck me though, through all of these beautiful buildings, is that none of the architects would have seen the buildings complete, because back then they would have taken decades to build!!!! The people who started working on the buildings would have started in faith, trusting that each building would be completed, and not changed, that they would be used for their original purpose, that they would be special to the people who are able to use them. Talk about being open handed!

So, as I think about projects, people, things that I have been involved with, projects that I have seen the start, or the middle of- I have been reminded of these buildings, how small I am in it all, and what a gift it is, not a given, to see some of these things completed!

Check out some of the buildings I have enjoyed over the last few weeks!

Big Ben!

There are so many things I love about being in London, but one is seeing Big Ben! It always reminds me of the story of Peter Pan, one of my favourite London-based books, and since then, a favourite movie… depending on if it’s the Disney version, or any of the other ones that have been made.

I love that idea of the boy who didn’t want to grow up, and while there are times that I see adults who want to remain childlike in a way that’s not helpful, there is definitely a context that we are all called to be children, to come into God’s presence like children, open, aware, trusting of our Heavenly Father.

So when I see Big Ben, I am reminded of the scene in Disney’s Peter Pan, when Peter descends on London ready for fun, adventure, and new discoveries, and likewise endeavour to look ahead with that perspective too!

Matthew 11: 25-26
At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.

Matthew 18: 2-4
He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Gentleness

As part of this time I am having at the moment, I am loving listening to talks by people from all over the world! It is wonderful having the time to ‘take a deep breath’ breathe in what is being shared in different churches and seeing how they all compliment each other, though they are from completely different places. It’s wonderful to see how God’s word works together, that it is real, life giving, our food and drink.

I was thinking about it all though and was challenged particularly by the concept of gentleness. I was listening to a talk earlier today, which really highlighted it for me, in a roundabout way! I mean gentleness in the calm, patient, caring, thoughtful kind of way, not a weak concept at all. It struck me that it could be seen as weak, of not being special or unique, and ‘nothing’, or something not worth anything, but I don’t think it’s that at all.

Being gentle in all things takes great strength, as we seek to stand for what God says in all circumstances, without bowing and being overruled, or going over the top in the other extreme. Philippians 4:4-6 came to mind as did 1 Timothy 6:11-12. Much to think on, and be challenged by, and challenged to live out....!

Snow photos

Well, I am sitting up here, tapping away on the computer, very aware of all the events that may be happening on the other side of the world today, and waiting, for, well, something, so am uploading photos!

I had taken some photos of the snow a couple of weeks ag, yet hadn't had a chance to upload them, so here they are!

The photo above was the scene that greeted me as I came out that Sunday morning- beautiful! It was absolutely magical!

This one, was while I was out walking across the Common (local park) to the cafe. It looks like most of the snow had gone, but it was still snowing at the time, so again, was wonderful! It's much warmer now, which is probably a very good thing, but I did enjoy it!

A beautiful picture, of grace, forgiveness, purity, and more:)

Mothering!

Right. So this week, I have been told to stop Mothering someone, and by another, that I should START Mothering them! What's with that! In both cases though, I really didn't want to be doing anything close to Mothering these people, and yes, in one case I was, where I shouldn't have been, and in the other I said no... One mother and one father in any family tends to be quite enough, otherwise it just get's confusing!

Anyway, the 2 episodes together got me thinking about the concept of mothering- as in: Stop Mothering me! and what we mean by that. I guess, when we are saying that, we are really saying something along the lines, that someone has overstepped the boundaries between themselves. They are trying to take on responsibilities and tasks that are not theirs to do. We are depriving that other person of an experience, or opportunity to see how well they will do in a situation. We are depriving them their space, opportunities for them to stretch out, find their space, and their limits or boundaries. We aren't allowing that person the opportunity to grow.

I realised too, how easy it is to try and take things into my own hands, with people, and with God. It's so much easier, when we know what to do, to step in, or make the comment, do the job, or whatever it is. In thinking about it in terms of my relationship with God, again, it's so easy to try and make things happen, to pre-empt the steps ahead, or try and take onto ourselves things that are not ours to be responsible for. It's a very fine line, as we are called to serve, love and care for others, yet we do need to do so with open hands, and in listening to God, and praying about different things, we need to allow God to make the way ahead clear, so we can see HIM at work and not us, and what we want to have happen, to see his way made clear, and his Glory revealed! Much more fun!

It's a fine line and balance between one and the other though...

Whiter than the snow....

There's a song we sing sometimes that has the above line in it, and I understood it in a whole new way today!

After a slightly fraught morning, I was getting ready to go to church, then realised I didn't ACTUALLY have to go to church, as I would be going tonight anyway(which was a good thing in the end as it was the same sermon!), so I came out and down for breakfast to see the amazing sight of snow falling on the roof outside! It completely stopped me in my tracks for a few minutes as I watched it falling onto everything outside. Completely silent, completely white, covering everything.

It was such a picture to me of forgiveness, grace, the slate wiped clean, beauty, redemption!

So instead of going to church, instead of staying home and listening to some sermons, I went out on the common (local park), and went for a lovely long walk to enjoy it for as long as it would last, have a coffee in a cafe, and slowly head home. It was an absolute gift, and lovely treat- one that just can't be planned or created. It just is. Like grace, forgiveness, beauty, redemption.

The Body of Christ

There are so many things that I love about what goes into the Body of Christ. It is made up of people, with different needs, wants, expectations. They are all in a different place, have dfferent experiences, different perspectives, gifts, talents and understandings.

How then, do we, as the body of Christ work together to support each other? if one has a problem, they all have a probelm(like our bodies- eg a sore toe, or a broken arm!).

We are all given different understandings, and perspectives. We are all unique and individual, shaped in the likeness of Jesus, yet we aren't the be all and end all, like he is.

How then do we work together and support each other? How then do we say we need help? And if we can't say that, then is there something wrong with the Body of Christ as we know it?

I remember hearing a sermon a few years ago about how the Body of Christ, Christians lived that out as they served each other in practical ways, in serving, supporting, praying for the people in need and it was such a wonderful picture of seeing God, at work, through his people.

Oh, to see more of that, and be more open and available in that way! To see the Body of Christ united, and going in the same direction, seeking God's glory first in all things! What a glorious thing that would be!

Surreal...

There is something quite surreal to be at the airport, everything, well all the major stable things in life have changed, and home is inside my lap top!

But I am so glad for God's leading, guiding, protecting, growing, and that He knows the way ahead, for me, and for those I have just said bye to!

Thanks for walking this journey with me, and being a part of it in some way!

Remembering back....

Still going backwards... remember this post?? This was from 1 1/2 years ago! Amazing!

And amazing too to be reminded of how I came to be there, and all that has happened since then!! God is good indeed!

Going backwards?!:)

Hmm.. I feel like I am going backwards slightly at the moment, but was looking for the songs to "Be thou my vision" for something today, so googled it as that's usually quickest.

Anyway, I cam across this, so thought I would share! It's and awesome recording of the song,with lovely photos (I think) to match, and suite the song on so many levels!

Enjoy:)

A reminder...

I was reminded of this story again today, so thought I would share it, again. It was such a reminder to me that it isn't US that can still the waters, we can't do it, not even close to being possible, and while it is a bit of a stretch for this story, it's still true. We can do what we can in a situation, but in the end, we just need to be still.. and choose to be still and wait... and wait some more. It' s not inactive, it's a choice, and often the hardest thing to do at the time!

Psalm 22

I have been reading through psalms at the moment, and got up to Psalm 22 yesterday, well, the day before, but it wasn't sinking in, so I read it again yesterday, when it really hit home! Why? yesterday was Good Friday!

A bunch of us went for a walk up the mountain behind where we live, and had about an hour of quiet, so I started reading from where I was up to, and boy it was amazing! How awesome to find a Psalm that was so fitting for Easter, yet written so long before the actual events!

God and his amazingly perfect timing, plans and insights!

1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from the words of my groaning?

2 O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, and am not silent.

3 Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the praise of Israel. ^[a]

4 In you our fathers put their trust;
they trusted and you delivered them.

5 They cried to you and were saved;
in you they trusted and were not disappointed.

6 But I am a worm and not a man,
scorned by men and despised by the people.

7 All who see me mock me;
they hurl insults, shaking their heads:

8 "He trusts in the LORD;
let the LORD rescue him.
Let him deliver him,
since he delights in him."

9 Yet you brought me out of the womb;
you made me trust in you
even at my mother's breast.

10 From birth I was cast upon you;
from my mother's womb you have been my God.

11 Do not be far from me,
for trouble is near
and there is no one to help.

12 Many bulls surround me;
strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.

13 Roaring lions tearing their prey
open their mouths wide against me.

14 I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;
it has melted away within me.

15 My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;
you lay me in the dust of death.

16 Dogs have surrounded me;
a band of evil men has encircled me,
they have pierced my hands and my feet.

17 I can count all my bones;
people stare and gloat over me.

18 They divide my garments among them
and cast lots for my clothing.

19 But you, O LORD, be not far off;
O my Strength, come quickly to help me.

20 Deliver my life from the sword,
my precious life from the power of the dogs.

21 Rescue me from the mouth of the lions;
save me from the horns of the wild oxen.

22 I will declare your name to my brothers;
in the congregation I will praise you.

23 You who fear the LORD, praise him!
All you descendants of Jacob, honor him!
Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!

24 For he has not despised or disdained
the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him
but has listened to his cry for help.

25 From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly;
before those who fear you ^[e] will I fulfill my vows.

26 The poor will eat and be satisfied;
they who seek the LORD will praise him—
may your hearts live forever!

27 All the ends of the earth
will remember and turn to the LORD,
and all the families of the nations
will bow down before him,

28 for dominion belongs to the LORD
and he rules over the nations.

29 All the rich of the earth will feast and worship;
all who go down to the dust will kneel before him—
those who cannot keep themselves alive.

30 Posterity will serve him;
future generations will be told about the Lord.

31 They will proclaim his righteousness
to a people yet unborn—
for he has done it.

Words, words, words!

Well, as the saying goes.... Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me! How wrong that is! Isn't it amazing how powerful words are, and how important it is to speak out encouragement, to affirm, and bless. It is in the daily practice of being steady, constant, and clear that we get our point across.

I was struck again the other night by how powerful our words are to each other, they can cause so much blessing, and equally so much damage! There are days when I don't say things quite the way I want, or don't say anything at all(I am more used to listening than speaking), or you misunderstand, or plain mis-interpret! Then there are the times when things just need to be spoken out- I am soooo often reminded that silence is just silence, and alot can be read into silence, depending on someone perspective on a situation.

I am so glad we have the bible (yet again!), and that we can trust and rely on it completely, in all situations!

Splinter....

I was sitting, working away tonight, and scratched the side of my foot.. then realized there was a huge splinter in it! There was a bit of pulling and tugging, and finally, it came out. It was a reasonably big one though, and lodged in very firmly!

I was reminded of the passage about noting a speck in someone's eye without doing anything about the log in my own. There are some people I am likely to challenge in their thinking... and question why they come to think that way, when I have a different opinion(yes, I like a good discussion, and understanding where people are coming from, though there are times...!:)). But I wondered too, how often do I gloss over any 'logs' that might be in my eye.. if I don't see them, they mustn't be there, right? How often do I have wrong attitudes that should change, or act in a way that isn't how I should behave in situations. In many ways I want to say, yes, I am perfect, correct, and everyone else is wrong, but I KNOW that's not the case... but that brings me to realize that I am unfinished business. I like having things sorted, and clear. I DO NOT like unknown situations(as I have been reminded of in so many ways this last week!), and want to get it all sorted.. now!

I am also not very patient when I could be doing something about something that needs dealing with.... ahh the dilemmas of life! We are all works, masterpieces, of God's, in progress!

The seen, and unseen...

Why is it that we find it sooo hard to understand the things that are unseen! If we can't see it, feel it, walk around it, know its tangibleness, then it mustn't be true, or real!

We all know so many things that we can't see, that ARE real, like wind, different kinds of illnesses, God's voice, to name a few. I have been struck by this for some time, but this week, I was reminded of it again in a number of ways.

Why is it that we can understand a broken leg, but not chronic fatigue. Why can we understand cancer, yet not depression. Why can we understand events and people who draw a person from one thing to another, yet when it is God speaking to someone, that's not always a good enough reason? As Christians, we are called to believe, and put our faith in a God that we may not see, yet as we get to know Him, we learn to recognize his hand, his voice, his call on each of our lives. We see him at work in our world, in the lives of those around us, and in our own life, as we seek to know him, spend time with him. And as we spend that time, we soon get to know him, and 'see' him in action, and what an awesome thing that is!

I am reminded of a couple of verses too...

1 Corinthians 2: 9-10

However, as it is written:
"No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him"— but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God

2 Corinthians 4: 17-18.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

It's a great reminder again, that I, and we, are all called to walk by faith! An awesome challenge!

Giving thanks at all times!

There is a Colin Buchannan song that I just love! It's called "Give Thanks" is about God's people looking at the amazing things that God has done for his people, the chorus going:

"give thanks to the generous God, who blesses his children again, and again! Give thanks to the generous God, we should never complain, for He blesses his children again and again" Simple, yet so true!

I had a cool conversation with someone tonight about our constant desire here to give thanks thanks for what God has done, in the day, a situation, event, whatever it is. Over the years, it has become second nature to see things to give thanks, that we are expected to always have something to give thanks for, or a word to share, and it's such an awesome way to be! I am so grateful for having had to develop that habit. It multiplies, grows, encourages, blesses others when we get together and share the amazing things that God has done!

I was then doing some cooking and listening to a sermon and was doubly blessed, as the topic was all about giving thanks, and was overflowing with joy at all that God had done in and through the community, and the whole talk was just a beautiful picture of a Christ-filled community!

I guess it's like having a different perspective, of coming from a place of seeing from a place of wanting to find things to give thanks for, of wearing spiritual glasses the pro-actively look for things to give thanks for.

I love that in 1 Thess 5:16-18 says: Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

It's not always an easy thing, when tough things are happening, or there are times when we just don't understand, but it's awesome to be able to give thanks all the time, knowing that God has already gone ahead of all that has and is happening and we are called to walk in obedience.

Dead ends and busy highways

I started what seemed like a really good conversation with someone recently. It was on a gritty topic that challenges me, and I don’t know all the answers, but enjoy talking through all the possibilities. Unfortunately the topic was ended suddenly at the point of discussing the problem. I realised just how unsatisfying it is to just complain about something. Anyone in the world can, and does do that. There’s always something to complain about, someone is always doing something wrong at the wrong time, they should be doing it our way(even if we don’t know what to do, or don’t want to do it if we do), someone to pull down, and discourage, deflating them like a balloon..

What I have found I do enjoy and appreciate, is being able to talk through the options and possibilities. What can we do about something in our situation, for whatever we are discussing (rather than leaving it to ‘other people’), and what are we as Christians called to do? How are we, as God’s hands and feet meant to act, to go out, in the big, and the little, to serve God, and those around us. Who are we, as God’s children, called to be in that situation, whatever that is. We can disagree with a situation without condemning the whole situation or person. We can still love the people, and be respectful of them, even if we don’t think the same way. We can still hold onto our integrity, faith, love, truth, encouragement in it all

I like seeing a challenging situation and finding the good in it, of seeing it from a position of what is being done right, and well, bringing life and growth! Something like a dead end, vs a thriving highway. One stops, and doesn’t go anywhere, whereas the other has places to go, is life giving, thriving and growing! If we can get past the complaining, that’s where we can really grow, learn, be challenged and who knows where God will take us! I'm looking forward to finishing the conversation!

Are you sure?

I love that God speaks to his people in so many different ways. That as we get to know him better, spend more time with him, we learn to recognize him in our lives, that we learn to follow his leading, wherever that goes.

In so many ways, we have it so easy! We have the Bible, choc full of examples, stories and eye witness accounts of different events in which God speaks to his people. In some, God is working through examples like Job, where everything went wrong, Job lost absolutely everything, to people being persecuted, and going to jail- then being raised up to be the leaders of their country! Or where God speaks to his people, or a person in certain ways, through 'normal' ways, or though radical ways such as a burning bush, or a donkey. The people in the Bible had faith alone to go on, no Bible, or examples to look back on, often they were the ones who were paving the way for those going on after them, as they sought to seek, listen and obey God with their whole being.

And God uses them all. He calls each of us into a closer relationship with him, and each way is as unique and individual as we are each different from each other, yet he calls us each to be One Body, United in him.

And still there are moments, when I have heard his voice, and I want to ask, is that really you, God? Are you sure you want me to do that then, soon, or at a certain time?

I keep coming back to James, and reminded again and again of what we are each called to do. James 1: 22 says: Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. An easy thing to do when it's all easy, but when it's something that doesn't make sense, or is hard, or you look silly, then what do you do? Well, it's pretty simple really, yet I think I get lulled into thinking it should all be easy, smooth sailing, and all the answers come all at the right time!

And so it's great that we do have the Word of God here, open, and full of God's promises, and his word, and he's faithful in, and through it all!

Working things out:)

Well, this week, I just worked something out! It has only taken me about 8 years to sort this one out, and now that I have, I don’t quite know what to do with this information, and what it really means in the long term.. quite possibly nothing at all though! I think it’s quite funny though that it’s taken me this long, so look forward to seeing what it all means in the grand scheme of things!

Looking back, it makes sense to me, but it kind of amazes me that I didn’t see it before when it was right there in front of me. So, I come back to that wonderful saying, yet again, that time will tell all things!

And as James says it so well…..

Be patient, then brothers, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the Autumn and Spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near (James 5:7-8)

Five years in HK

I have been living and working in this part of the world for five years today. I remember vividly, the person who came to collect me from the airport, the people I ate my first dinner with, where I had come from, the tour I first took. Of all the years I have been here, this was the one that I most wanted someone to remember and note... and it hasn't been. The funny thing though, is that I have never really wanted to celebrate this anniversary, and I could never work out why. It has been remembered and marked, but I have always wanted to downplay it, and not make a big deal of it, so why does this one matter so much...

Perhaps it's because there won't be another one, perhaps because, for the second time since I have been here, I have said no to something... What if we were all only remembered for what we haven't done, for what's lacking, for not living up to expectations. Perhaps, because I have said no, it feels like I have failed, that I have been selfish, or unreasonable, and I wonder if I will be remembered for that alone, that in the end, the last 5 years doesn't count for more than that...

None of us will ever do enough, be enough, give enough, love enough, live up to who we should be, or be doing, and I see again and again how true that is in me, yet, am so, so grateful for the truths we can all build our lives around. And, I am so encouraged when I do feel like I am being selfish and unreasonable for saying no occasionally, that I can bring it to God, and he will sort it out, that he hasn't asked us for perfection, or to be everything to everyone.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says....

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

And I will give thanks for these five years, for the amazing people, work, friends, awesome times, awesome growth, and, I trust much more of all of it to come, wherever I am! I have loved these years and all they have held and will continue to call them awesome:)

Who am I to....

Have you ever wondered who you were to a person? What part do we play in their lives, is it a big part, or a little part, a best friend... or a good friend... an acquaintance...a colleague, a peer, or something else entirely. And what happens when one person thinks one thing, and the other person thinks something else entirely... for example, Person A thinks that Person B is a good friend to them, whereas Person B thinks that Person A is just a random person they met in the street. An extreme example, but you get the point.

Over the course of my life, I have been in situations when I have mistaken my relationship with someone, or someone has mistaken it with me, or we just can't figure it out in the social context that it exists, so we just have to wait and see how it all turns out... sometimes we are very pleasantly surprised, and at others, we have to live with what's offered.

I was thinking about it, and the thoughts turned to our relationship with Jesus and how we understand that relationship... he loves us more than we can possibly imagine, and we respond to that in very different ways. At best, we know him and love him, and live our lives seeking to serve, honor and know him better. At worst, we ignore him, or use him, or worse....

And yet, he stands there waiting for us to stop and turn back to him. And if we are in doubt, all we need to do is read through the bible, as it's jam packed full of God specifically telling each one of us how much he loves each of us! Amazing! I was reminded of The Father's love Letter, which is a small selection of verses from the Bible that share a taste of who we are to God!

What an awesome God!

A massive re-shuffle!

What would happen if everyone in the world could do the job they wanted to do? What would happen if every Christian could do what they believed God called them to, in the place he calls them to(whether or not it is a job as such)?

It makes sense to me that if each one of us is fearfully and wonderfully made, created specifically, uniquely, one of a kind, made with purpose and love, specifically knitted together, then... if we were all doing what God called us to do, then it would be kinda like pieces in a puzzle (taking into consideration that we live in an imperfect world of course) where everything fit together.

We, God's people would be like a well oiled machine all working together as one body in Christ, working in unity together... how great would that be!

Some people know too, from the beginning what they would like to do in their lives. They have a vocation, or purpose, or vision, yet for others it takes a while to get there, but it's still valid and unique, and who's to say the things they did along the way didn't have purpose or meaning.

I have had a few conversations today with people who have been talking about visions, and things, or projects that just seem to make their hearts sing, and it's such a beautiful thing to see and walk beside, and it makes my heart sing to listen to them and support them as they talk through their hopes, and work through the process of making it all happen.

I was reminded yesterday of a book I read a year ago now, 'Cure for the common life' by Max Lucado, that looks at each of our gifts, and the concept of living in our sweet spot- that ideal place that put the things we most love to do, to best use. Thinking about this too, I was reminded of Psalm 139, and Romans 28-31. How awesome is our God:)

Waiting for....

There are times when it feels like I am still waiting for life to start, which is a slightly terrifying thing at my age(!).... but there are things I feel like I am waiting for, things to fall into place, so that everything else will fall in line, events to happen, things to add up... Some things are seen, and some things aren't but there is still that sense of waiting for things to happen

We have been doing a sermon series on James at church over the last few months, and it's just great! I have always loved the book of James, as there is so much in there, and so many practical things for each of us, no matter where we are in life. But my eye was caught by the word patience a few weeks ago, so have been mulling over James 5: 7-9 for some time now, just thinking through how it might apply in different situations.

Be patient, then, brothers until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm because the Lord's coming is near.

I am reminded too, of the seasons, in nature, where every season has a purpose, including winter, where, in general nothing grows. But that doesn't mean that it's dead, or inactive. Even that time has purpose to it, much like a farmer leaving a field to lie fallow for a time, to rest, and restore nutrients to it, so it can bear even more fruit, and grow much better, because of the time of rest.

There are some things too, that I am waiting for, and the funny thing is, that if I try to make them happen, they won't actually be what I am waiting for, so therefore I am stuck! I would dearly love them to happen, but if I have any active hand in them, it will transform them into something I don't want to be..... so once again, I am glad I can leave them safely in the Master Gardener's hands, knowing they are safe and well there, and if it happens, it will happen at just the right time and in his way (not just because I would like it to happen!).

So, I am encouraged that God's timing is perfect, that he knows the big HUGE picture of what is going on. He has everything timed to absolute perfection:)

Hmm.. God's timing.. that's a whole other post right there!

Thanks friends:)

This week has been one, of realising again what amazing friends I have! There have been so many moments where I have just stopped in wonder at how awesome the people I know are, whether here, or far away, in whatever time zone. There are those here, who I am so blessed to live and work with (and oh, what a treat when I can even hang out with them!), those far away who I miss terribly from time to time, and those who are far away, who I am closely in contact with, whether it's through email, skype, facebook, or blogging.

Coming to the end of the week, having a wonderful evening with some great friends, looking back over the week and all that has happened, it's lovely to be able to Thank you Lord, for my most amazing friends, from the very bottom of my heart:)

The art of the put-down...

What is it with people where we only seem to see what HASN'T been done, rather the the copious amounts of things that, in any given situation, HAVE been done!!!

I was reminded of that once again in so many different contexts this week, and is something I have been thinking through in a number of different situations, some that I have been involved with, and some I have heard about. Why is it so easy for us to criticize others and pull them down? Why are we so quick to judge, and condemn, to give 'the answer' when we have no idea of the situation really.

We had a great sermon last week on it too! James 4:11-12 says.. Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you- who are you to judge your neighbour?

One of the most striking things the minister said about this was that he went through a list of things the church would rightly fire him for, in terms of misconduct unbecoming to the clergy(or anyone for that matter!). He then came to slander, and stopped. According to this, yes, we are all guilty of sinning each time we judge and condemn another..... and yes we do it so often, and so often without thinking about it, or the rightness or wrongness of it. It has certainly made me stop and think each time I have thought about saying something less than kind about another person, but has made me realize how often I do it, and how much a part of our society it is, and how acceptable it is to slander another person(in words, or action), either someone we know, or someone in leadership, or someone famous.

Too often we don't know the whole story, we don't know the person's motivation, and we don't know the answer! It is such an easy thing to do, and so easy to slip into.. but how wonderful to live in a slander-free society!!

On reading Job

I have been reading through the book of Job over the last few weeks. It's a book I have slightly dreaded reading, as I tend to find it slightly tricky to tell the truth of what Job is saying and holding onto, to the 'mostly' truth of what his friends are saying all the way through, especially in amongst their fine words and eloquent speaking.



It was great to get through it though, annd get to Job 28, where Job so beautifully describes how hard it is to find wisdom, true wisdom. It isn't just lying around there waiting to be picked up. It's down deep, and you have to search hard, and go far to reach it. I was so encouraged too, in that concept that the fear of the Lord.. that's true wisdom. That's good wisdom, and challenging when there are potentially so many things, people and events one could forseeably fear over God, who isn't always such a physical presence in front of us.

Check out: 23-28 God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells,
for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens.
When he established the force of the wind and measured out the waters,
when he made a decree for the rain and a path for the thunderstorm,
then he looked at wisdom and appraised it; he confirmed it and tested it.
And he said to man, 'The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.'

Later on God comes in, and really puts them all, and us, in our places! Awesome! Chapter 38 really sets them and us straight. And what's best... he's Our God! He loves us, has redeemed us, and and sends us, little tiny us, in his name! The whole thing is awesome!!

And to top it all off... we are working our way through James in the study series at chuch at the moment, and it's amazing how much it has tied in with what I have been reading in Job! In particular, James 3:17-18. By the wisdom hat comes from heaven is first of all pure, then peace-loving, considerate, submissine, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

I think we can trust this God of ours:)

Who do you think you are???!!!!:)

I woke up this morning, realizing exactly what the question was that was going around in my head.. it was there, but I just couldn't place a finger on what it actually was...!

It was... "who do you think you are??" and the follow-on to that... "who do you think you are to be doing A, B, or C??" It made me realize why I am in the position I am in right now and a little of what I think might hold me back. Then looking around... I wonder how many of us are stopped from doing what God calls us to do, because we just don't think we can, or it seems like such a presumptuous thing for us specifically to be doing! We all know God calls us to big things, and new things, to teach us and draw us on in him, but sometimes life takes over, and sometimes other things, or other people get in the way, not to mention the needs. There is sooo much to be done!

Soooo...... who does each of us think we are? Where are we going, and what would God have us do? We are all given free will and a choice to obey, or not. We all have the opportunity to learn to hear what God would have for each of us in our lives, and sometimes it's easier to do it, and sometimes, it's easier to stick to what's safe and what we know and can do, rather than going on, allowing ourselves to be stretched and prodded into all kinds of amazing things.

So.... who do we think we are...? We are the beloved children of God. He speaks to each of us and calls us by name. He has a plan to lead, and grow us, in a unique and individual way that is just right for us, not the next person. He doesn't call us to do as much as we can, but to love him with all our heart, and give our lives to him to pour into, and out of, in whatever way he chooses to do so!! So amen to that!:) And that's just the beginning....:) Think of all those big huge things he can do with a whole body of us working together!

Serving or Pouring out...

I went to read My Utmost for His highest today, by Oswald Chambers, and was really struck by it, especially the comment, saying that it is easier to serve than to pour our your lives completely to him. But what does it look like for me to pour out my life completely, or any of us for that matter. And how easy it is to serve.

I think we can serve AS we pour our lives out completely for him, but think it must be a very fine line for each of us sometimes. We all want to serve God and obey him, because we know he has the best plan ever… So I look in wonder again, and ask again how I can live a life of unsullied, uncompromising, and unbribed devotions to Jesus….I try so hard not to be biased in either direction, but don’t think it’s as easy as I would like it to be….:)

Valid, or not valid

I was thinking some more about this phone call I had last week, and got to thinking about all those situations when love, or friendship is offered... but not returned... does it make one persons' feeling more valid than the other, if one person says it should be one way, and the other doesn't agree?

Or does it just mean that they have a difference of opinion, and they both just have to deal with the consequences.

TO care for an object is one thing.. it's never going to 'care' back, but when it comes to people, that's another story. It becomes a mutual arrangement, or not. And what of those poor old feelings in the middle, in whichever direction they are facing, what does one do with them!
Anyway, it's something I have been thinking about....:)

Noise and voices...

Tonight a guy from India called. He is the brother of someone who I met last year, and he has decided that he loves me, and I should go and live in India. He has been calling for some time now, to the point where he has offered to pay for me to go to India for a holiday! And he doesn't know me, so has nothing to base his opinion on!

It reminded me of all the voices we all have in our lives, of the noise that surrounds us in our busy lives, and how vital it is to steal away into the quietness to listen to the still small voice that matters the most.

After the phone call, I realize that when he had called, I had been alone, but really enjoying that time of quiet, rest and peace of listening to the still small voice I know and love so well, and of just how God wants to have us in that place of choosing to be in His presence, of wanting to listen to and obey him alone. And there are times when he goes to a lot of trouble to bring us into a place where he has the attention of both our ears, and our hearts! I was reminded of 1 Kings 19, and the trouble God went to, so that Elijah would listen to him, and him alone. Once again, what an amazing God we have!

Life long friends...

I have some life long (well, almost) friends I would like to introduce to you. Well, while they aren't life long, and they aren't really friends, they seem like it, and it very much felt like it when I stopped in front of their wonderfully familiar faces yesterday in a bookshop. You see, these friends are a group of people in a painting, who happened to appear on the cover of a new book. The painting is one by Renoir, called "Luncheon of the Boating Party"


There is so much I love about this painting, I love their obvious friendship, they are relaxed, comfortable, happy, content to be with each other in fellowship, over a good meal, chatting away in a beautiful setting, spending quality time together.

I have often wondered how much this painting has shaped who I am today. When I was about 12, my family went down to Canberra to see the latest impressionist, or Renoir exhibition, and mum had said that she would buy me a print of one of the paintings. I don't know how I came to choose this one, because back then, I was terrible at choosing anything, but this is the one I walked away with. Miracle of miracles, Mum and I later on went to the picture framers, and had it framed and since then it has lived on my wall, wherever I lived in Sydney, as I grew up.

Even now, I look at this group of people, and reminded of the fellowship that each of us is privileged to share, should we choose to accept it. It lies in stark contrast to the movie I saw yesterday, of the people Elizabeth met on her journey, and of their search for meaning, fellowship and wholeness. I guess we often shun true fellowship out of self preservation, or wanting to be independent, but it's nice to finally arrive in a place where you're 'home' with the people who know you best, and can kick off your shoes and....just be you:)

My Blueberry Nights

I went to see the movie, My Blueberry Nights, this afternoon with some friends, and am so glad I did! It has had alot of press here, as the writer, producer and director is a guy from Hong Kong, however it is filmed, starting in New York, and working it's way across to the west coast of the USA.

It is about Elizabeth's journey across the USA, and across a spectrum of relationships, or meetings with people along the way, and how their meetings impact each other, and causes change in each person. Throughout it all, she sends postcards to someone who she met just as she starts this journey, and in a sense, blogs it all and shares her discoveries of people, and of herself with that person. It reminded me a little of why I blog, and while I share, to get my thoughts out there, there are moments, when I know I do write with people in mind, or am thinking of a situation, or something like that, that I want to share.

It reminded me too, of some other random, random movies that I love, that do take a close up look at relationships, and how different people's interactions can cause different effects and change in each person. We are a fascinating bunch!

One comment that Elizabeth spoke of was that as she met different people, it was like looking into fragments of a mirror, and getting to know herself better through the interaction, however short or long it is. A beautiful picture! I need to see this one again:)

F.I.N.E.

One of my favorite conversations in a movie, well, one that keeps coming back to me, is one in "The Italian Job" Where two of the characters talk about being fine, and feeling fine. However.... in this case, being fine stood for Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional! It has always stuck, as it's a word we use to describe ourselves so often, yet, often we use it as an all covering fix-it for every situation. It might easily be true, but there are times when it is easier to stick to it, rather than admit the truth, or you just can't share how you are doing.

I was stuck by how prevalent it was again today, as I saw it talked about in a TV show I was watching tonight, and was reminded of another movie where two of the main characters were talking about how, not only were they fine, but they were absolutely fine.

So, in a day where I had an awesome time, I was also pulled in a nice big range of extremely different directions emotionally, I guess it's easier to choose "fine". I still wonder what God would have us do, and who he would have us be in that situation, but guess in the end, I will just have to get on and do the best I can and see how it all pans out.

Faithfulness

A bunch of us sang this song last night to see in the new year. While it’s an old, old song, it has words with such amazing truths in them, and what a wonderful way to see in the new year. As I came into 2007, there seemed to be so many new things about to happen, exciting new jobs and new directions, loads of wonderful possibilities! As the year unfolded though, it became clear, that while I thought I knew where God was taking me, he was actually taking me to a very different place!

Coming into this year, I am much more aware of my need, to pray, to keep praying, I don’t think I have ever prayed so much in all my life as I have in the last few months! To keep waiting for God, rather than jumping the gun and reaching my own conclusions, of submitting to him, and trusting that he knows best and stepping out in his footsteps, not mine, no matter where they lead.

I am so grateful for God’s faithfulness, in my life, and in the testimony of the lives of others. He doesn’t leave us or forsake us, he loves us amazingly, and takes us onward. I was also reminded of James 1again and the amazing reminders that God doesn’t change, and all the amazing reminders and challenges it gives each of us. There is much in there to think over, but last night, coming into the new year, it really blessed me!

So, blessings on each of you as you come into 2008. Wherever you are at, may you go deeper and stronger into all that God has for each of you in the coming year, knowing that our God is faithful!

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Refrain

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Refrain

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!